Queues

Form a line and you will be promptly served
there are just so many in front of you
your turn will come soon, have your notes ready
one by one the line will move as one by one the stairs come down

Departures

You have your ticket?
Can I check your passport / boarding pass?
Please be seated at the cross lanes of weeping lady and concerned mother,
across the candy eating chinese beside the red Turk
Write all you like gazing at the white blank paper
Still hoping - Pyaar se bula aajayegi
Love will find a way.

Love, much like truth, is not a prostitute - it doesn't come cheap, it doesn't throws itself at you - it extracts from you your secret most treasures, your deepest care, your strenuous effort..

No hurry

At the port, in the lounge, the time is set
the clouds hang in the distance, over the mountain
now a burning shadow, there a calm yellow
some wilful sounds disturb the constant hum

Like so many kites on board a jet so many lives hang
the words balm the unsatiated heart
the tight lipped eyes well up a strange shade of purple
isn't it too early to declare her a memory alone?

The ceiling is fake, the lights artificial, the sounds robotic
was this the future the child madly after?
amongst the sea of strange faces, the familiar emotions still show up
(a not so old couple engage in a casual kiss)

The heart will live the night dreaming it is we who kissed after the anxieties and uncertainity of first nights were long over.

Where the sea lions cough

(wrote yesterday looking for a memory that keeps cutting deeper and deeper)

Walk in the night when the world sleeps
The spirits again moving across the space
Piercing the silence, painting the sky a cloudy white
When lovers walk hand in hand forgetting the day's chores

Sit opposite the barbed wire listening to roaring hungry lions
Water disturbed by sounds and airy movements reflecting the glimmer of manly lights
Cool winds fan the fiery spirits shivering the body
Meditate on the coming morning when it will all be hue and cry again

Fly over the bay like a seagull attracted by sea lions' roar
Staring into the depths of oceanic vast richness
The rainbow of moon's light over the moving clouds
Calming the senses, reassuring the night that the darkness would soon give way

Listen to the familiar call of heart's calling
Expecting to solve the mystery of it's desires
Who made the first move that caused the turbulence at this scale
When was the crime committed and how long the scathing punishment would last

To think the maths behind it - if one is other follows
Moving the fingers symptomatic of lively consciousness
Living a life full of rich meaninglessness
As long as the one with the strength of giving it meaning hides behind the cursed veil

The words and meanings shake the inner lonely turbulence
Wishing that the sky would soon fall crushing everything beneath
The show is addictive and hypnotises your countenance
Still the saying goes - shudhosi, budhosi, niranjanosi

A memory

(Caricature of a memory so old that it seems only yesterday. Was apprehensive of publishing this as it contains curse words but the encouraging sentiment of introduction to Capitalism and Schizophrenia impelled to let go.)

Sitting on the floor, a plate of samosas, chips and a tetra pack of juice is served. The chief guest gives a speech and the chief server follows him out after it. You have just barely finished eating or drinking when all of a sudden a shout comes from behind - ‘Madarchod’. You think you have heard something mistakenly like sometimes when you have seen the rainbow in the rain but its just a cloudy sky. And in a moment there are all these sounds from every mouth standing - ‘Madarchod, Behenchod, Madarchod’. It starts to rhyme. You think for a moment they are not talking to you but they are, they really are talking to you and to you only. Who else is there who is listening but you and only you. And you start wondering what have you done, you just silently ate what you have been served. What have you done? Perhaps you were not supposed to eat what you were served. Perhaps you are not supposed to eat at all. Perhaps this is what happens to everybody who eats.

I may never know whether the cat is dead or alive but I must answer these perhapses, to understand the full implications of what I have done.

To think that those sitting on the floor whom you think you know will become those dancing wildly around whom you do not know and you wonder what is this magic place, this temple of learning that transform children into wild men in a year. And you set out to find everything about it. Like a spy investigating a crime.

The ten year have gone behind and no one told you when to run and you miss the starting gun. And you run and you run to catch up with the Sun but its sinking.

An energy bound in time

(Written sometime in 2017)

There is no winning. You are just some energy bound in time. Everything else is what humans call prejudice. Glib, clever remarks must get rid of those too. This is utmost bareness. Nudity. Nakedness. Prejudiced shame.

Sorry. Thank you. Society. Fear. .. A handshake. A hug. A kiss. Ritual. A goat to Ali. A buffalo to Kali. A chicken to man. Don't be a copycat. Honesty is the best policy. Political slogans. Hopeless labour. Childhood fantasies. Ants, spiders and lizards. Chinese medicine. Africa's children. Ingredients: X, Y, Z, tears as per taste. .. Line me up, shout me down, play the dying Zeppelin song till you know what.. Winning is losing. Health is wealth. The rich are the poor. The wise are the foolish. Standards of living... Where was the boot from of that अवारा joker? Japan. Land of the rising Sun. Still if there is a hole in your you know what, hold these there - 'Don't be fooled by colours. Don't be fooled by colours.' And while they uttered about her and her, I stared blankly. And while they danced wildly, I stared blankly. And while they shot that rocket up above the world so high, I stared blankly. Mixed signals. It's that time of the year again, when birds sing and flowers bloom. Help me paint this wall with colours. Move your bricks and make this a chorus. And I stare blankly.!? .?! !.? !?. ?.! ?!. P&C. Africa's children. मत पूछ क्या हाल है मेरा तेरे पीछे, तू देख क्या रंग है तेरा मेरे आगे। Don't ask - 'How are you?' Know - 'How colourful you are!' Joining hands. Touching feet. आदाब अदब से। Cross-signing off... Beware, all I ask. Of dogs and other wild animals, especially the one of that kingly species. And they are your best friends. Friends close, enemies closer. Subtle signals. Africa's children. Xenophobia. Nana's method is the best, match the colour of the rest. रगों में दौड़ना, आँख से टपकना - Living a death. Love. Difference and Repetition. La Di Da. La Di Da. आलू का चालू बेटा कहाँ गए थे, बन्दर की झोपड़ी में सो रहे थे। कुछ नकलची बंदरों की कहानी। Civilised people fast forwarding civilisation. Morning one at office. Evening one at home. Monday to Sunday. Monday. Sunday to Monday. Nunday.

An assortment of toffees. A match box. Scratched paper. A new day. A new beginning. The Sun also rises. Me, myself and my tree. With thorns and flowers complete. An Ulysses. कहता सच्ची मधुशाला, अलग अलग पथ - Africa's children.

Obituary of a playboy

(Written sometime in 2017)

A playboy died today. In his memory -

I like the white one, I like the black one, I like the tall one, I like the short one, I like the big one, I like the small one, I like the curvy one, I like the straight one, I like the shy one, I like the promiscuous one, I like the smart one, I like the dull one, I like the chirpy one, I like the silent one, I like the hairy one, I like the bald one, I like the hot one, I like the cold one, I like the entertaining one, I like the boring one, I like the winter one, I like the summer one, I like the good one, I like the bad one, I like the guilty one, I like the innocent one, I like the right one, I like the left one, I like the rich one, I like the poor one, I like the beautiful one, I like the ugly one, I like the old one, I like the young one but I adore the middle one.

Love, Art and Freedom

(1) (This is a part of the series to illuminate and discuss the challenges leading to treating the world as a single unit)

(Edited - 9/05/21 - Completing the excerpts, no more pretensions, all cards on the table)

(Improved excerpts of a letter written to Hermione 2. I succeeded in getting a response. I was too late and a poison must not be sweetened.)

Dear witch, I gather you are a well-honed professional business executive but I am appealing to the girl in there who loves dogs, who is a crazy artist and who believes in magic. To the business executive perhaps I have nothing to offer but I have everything for the other person. See, after college I had an outline of my goals set - work as an engineer for sometime and then go for a world class MBA and be a consultant in a big 3 consultancy firm for the rest of my life. But things happened - I lost some good friendships, I lost some love opportunities and for a time I even lost my mind. I couldn’t make head and tail of the world and I was confused, whether it is the world that is crazy or I am. There is a disturbing photo I would like you to see. I sometimes feel like the photographer looking at the farmers committing suicides, children dying of poverty in Africa and even in India, people fleeing and dying in the regions inflicted with armed conflict etc. I see this and I have also experienced the power of love and care, which everyone of us is capable of, to make everything look sublime. This is the source of my conflict. I think every new mis-happening - even a road accident which is so common in India -somehow makes a part of me responsible for it. I think this is what Democracy means - rule of the people also translates to responsibility of the people. Now, what do I want to do about it? I have two friends who represent the opposite ends of the spectrum of conflict - one believes in efficiency and rationality of free markets and says that’s all the regulation or interference we need in the form of government and the other - who plays western classical on guitar, lives on a hill station oblivious of the realities of the world. I find both of them reasonable - the first one likes the rules of the game and wants to play it to his advantage and the second one doesn’t like the rules of the game and simply doesn’t play it. But I find the rules themselves to be rigged. Markets are the instrument of economics based on reason with complete disregard for emotions. Simply put markets do not care. It has no place for poor, sick and old. It is best at one thing - create enough artificial necessity by throwing people into a corner and make them innovate. These innovations are then considered the hallmarks of progress. I do not like this methodology of making progress. See, reason cannot understand love but love can see through reason. I have concluded that it is a matter of will - if we want to be selfish, we will find every reason to be that and if want to be loving and caring, we will find reason enough to be that. So, I started studying different philosophers. I learnt that humans do not know concretely what consciousness is, we have differing views on the true nature of reality and we do not firmly understand what quantum mechanics is saying and how space-time, quantum mechanics and gravity work together. To say the least, inspite of all our glittering advances in technology and knowledge there is a lot of fundamental stuff we do not understand. So in light of this knowledge (or lack thereof) I find the present construction of society ugly and want to construct a society based on love, art and freedom instead of reason, money and power. I know it all sounds crazy but I have some semblance of a plan like the prodigal three who defeated you-know-who. I want to formally study Physics and help ourselves understand the true nature of reality and hopefully find love in the cold equations of mathematics. To that end I am awaiting a confirmation of seat allocation to a master’s programme in Physics. As a philosopher I want to brood over consciousness. As a politician I want to expose money and power in its hypocrisy as far as possible through my writings and behaviour. And finally as an artist, I want to dream up a society along above lines. So, why am I exploding this bomb on your head? See, you are a friend I never had. You were a childhood sweetheart and competitor and then we went our ways. But overtime as I see your posts or your photos or remember you something in me resonates. You are someone who has inspired me towards excellence always inspite of the obstacles and it is this which has allowed me to see things in this light. I want you to know this - all of us are in this together, whatever this is. There is a vision in Hinduism for the world - “Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam” - it means that the whole world is a family. I want to live that vision and share it with you. I love you, a bhoot

P.S.: A child born in Africa is as much a royalty as one born in British royal family.

Earthly world

(A short story written for Hermione 4 in the feververy month of 2016)

On an Earthly world lived a guy with huge curiosity and a vivid imagination. He was taught to keep moving forward and learned the ways of hard work. He could focus and reach the forefronts of any chosen field. This was all good but he had difficulty relating with others, never really understood the concepts of friendship, couples, colleagues. He was missing out on something but work had always kept him distracted, until.. One day, he came across this girl, so lovely and beautiful. He had vaguely learned that beauty can only be attracted by heart and his other capabilities were of no use. He was so overwhelmed by beauty this time that he literally set out to tear apart the heart. He now assembles the broken pieces and puts them together into only possible communication means: words. He tries to find the missing piece and writes an honest letter.

Knots

(Written in the feververy month of 2017. A description)

As things evolve, they get knotted up.

Like the room at the moment is made up of such sublime wooden criss-crossed ceiling, those walls painted so many times, those covered up lamp holder windows, those pile of clothes accumulated from so many different shops, some fit me some mother, those medicines containing wrappers containing baskets of plastics, those containers with small time snacks of the likes of biscuits and samosas, those furniture as sofa-set, bed and table and many more such things as electrical fittings, almirahs and dust and finally me, mine pencil and this notebook jotting down this for that supernova which will someday definitely happen judging by the blackness of it all.

The great unknotting that must be attempted to discern the nature of reality.

Flirt

White mountains
green skies
Oh! lovely dear
What a smile!

A hand written note
For the beauty of damsels
A man flatters
to tease his woman's heart

Time

Past (Values of an engineer)

Present (A picture)

Future (Marbles)

The queen

(Written in the month of birth of 2016)

The soon to be misses jain
I have tried every kind of therapy
yeah philosophy that too but
It will take more to get over you

Laid out like pieces of chess
the european philosopher the american critic
the lovers offense the lovers defense
the middle eastern religion the hindu time

The chinese art the brazilian life
the african poor the russian rich
the islands master the japanese technology
she checkmates they both win

This too shall pass in time
but somewhere it will remain
then you will get married too 
and i will be devastated

Untitled

(Written sometime in 2017)

I don't need to be a seven year old to write a silly, simplistic but an honest statement.
We are all not fools here people.

To know something and write is easy, to not know and still be able to write
Now that is what is really difficult. 
Now don't call that thing easy, stick to a point every once in a while.

You just don't know what you are talking about. Yes exactly. 
Joyce said art brings stillness. Well nobody cares about art anyways.

She is looking nice today but i have someone else on my mind
He kept on staring at the knob but nobody came in that night

My eyes must have been very strong to have witness all that 
Its really a very painful exercise
Soldiers dying in a war

Amongst the black they distinguish between day and night 
oh and the real funny one from two

Things must be made as simple as possible but not simpler
He asked why he couldn't write like him well for that you will not have to born like you

Now that is not in our control now is it 
there was all this sand for all of us but now some have wealth and some don't

What is the opposIte of wealth not poverty that distinguishes rich not poor that distinguishes rich too
misfortune may be but that isn't the same thing is it?

Luck and lack of free go hand in hand see when the language is such and such then people also can be only such and such

its the start of a cult see that is what is wrong here there is no word for it its unprecedented inexplicable
The idiots The disjoints the flags the torch bearers

The cave analogy and the shadows and the sun it all came from arun i am so jealous of him everything is so meaningful here

Lets play the game punctuate the sentence then they will give you the cowboy horse uncle and falling
Its called growing up little one hopefully you will learn all about it someday

What a word that is completely inexplicable and makes you believe in miracles and impossibilities 
you will find it somewhere maybe in a dog's bark

Its so stupid that it must be acknowledged for its stupidity 
see the child had only one goal to turn everything upside down and he is not completely over yet

Aims you ask for goals you talk about without knowing there is an hospital by that name in our side of the world

A an and the silent h.

Hermit

Brilliance starts with stupidity
brilliant! Keep it up those words stuck a cord somewhere and it was no mean job getting over it

Are you sure of the use of your tense 
yes after reading this anybody will be sure of his tense 
the before tastes and the after tastes

Its all about wine anyways who drinks a sweet liquor thats for ladies no disrespecting ladies in my presence 
well what do you know it may be a compliment

Which part of tense structure did may fall in it must be confused and to be sure 
That tense over there had a double meaning

ThIs is pleasure nothing less nothing more 
we should have more conversations with pleasure don't you think so its a pleasure what a joke

Pleasure is a response to pain if you don't know pain you can't know pleasure 
a 10 seconds old baby in mother's arms

To catch you have to close your hands at the right moment 
its something your hands learn your mind plays no part your brain does

It comes with practIce even khandelwal ma'am appreciated it 
karat karat sil pe nishaan

This happened

There are many versions of the events that transpired. None of them is accurate. 

Poems

(Written in the month of hope of 2016)

1

It's that time of the year again
When flowers bloom and birds sing
Help me paint this wall with colors
Move your bricks and make this a chorus!

2

There are two that are said to be infinite

One universe, other human stupidity

While they grapple with universe

I contemplate infinite stupidity

3

(I am afraid - conflict - contradiction - struggle - why? what?)

I was afraid of a sad mother

More so than the abusive father

I was afraid of the subject teacher

More so than the class teacher

I was afraid of a good girl

More so than the bully boy

I was afraid of a success

More so than the failure

I was afraid of a submitting junior

More so than the commanding senior

I was afraid of a good roommate

More so than the bad wingmates

I am afraid of myself

More so than the world

I am afraid of a good joker

More so than the bad villain

I am afraid of a good government

More so than the bad one

I am afraid of a friend

More so than the enemy

I am afraid of a selfless man

More so than the selfish one

I am afraid of a human

More so than the animal

I am afraid of the analysis

More so than the paralysis

I am afraid of the goodness

For meanness is norm

Lies

(Written in post-apocalyptic month of hope in 2016.)

I swear to myself I will only speak the lie and nothing but the lie.

If I so much as deviate from my lie then you can persecute me.

Lies

Now that I have said all the lies you must again let me be free.

Equality is subservient to freedom, justice is subservient to freedom.
Capitalism is my religion, money my God, markets are its temple, businessmen are its prophets and managers their servants. I desire to be a good prophet someday but I must be a servant first.
I do not believe in any power of the State. I know if I follow the path of my god I will be liberated.
My god is a just god and he will do justice to me. My god is benign he will free me. My god treats everyone equally.
I am poor because my god does not want me to be rich. My god is not satisfied with my labor. My labor is my only prayer.

How can I include someone in my enterprise who does not believe in my God. I do not allow anyone who cannot prove his allegiance to my religion into my enterprise. I even go so far as to make sure those who deny my religion are not liberated. This I do to please my God and its prophets.

My God has no gender. It’s a thing. It was always a thing. It was the non-believers who in their ignorance established their demi-gods. They thought they could take care of the subjects of my God. They in their ignorance forgot that they could do so only because of the magnanimity of my God. They established their own religions of superstition, science and other blasphemous stuff.

I am guilty of being influenced by their beliefs. I was young and didn’t know the full force of my God. Now that I know the nature of my God. I confess my guilt. I desire to be liberated and I know I must pray.

There are some in my community who believed money to be but dust of the hands. My god justly punished them. Indeed my heart goes out to those who had to lie - ‘Money is just dust of the hands’ - so that they can serve our God in private, secrecy. My fellow believers were and in some cases still suffer from these ordeals created by the ignorance of non-believers. I pray to my God he gives me strength enough to fight these and many more battles to come.

My God is very powerful. It bestows a part of its strength to its firm believers and practitioners of its religion, so that the cause of my God can be furthered upon.

My God works in mysterious ways. It gives enough but not too much that the natural course of man is disturbed.

My God is such that a believer tries to attain it completely in his worldly life but he could only get a glimpse of It. He must toil ever more and more so that he could get a better and better view. My God lovingly creates the circumstances that he comes closer and closer to It.

My God is a loving God. It too wants to go those who faithfully desire and do their prayers regularly. It rewards those more who could show the path of liberation to those who are ignorant. It gives a large portion of his wealth to its prophets who are wise and spend their time in religious thinking and action.

Anything is subservient to my thing, my God, my money. Love that is not a love of money will cease. Justice that is not justice by money is no justice. Equality that is not rooted in money (boons of my God) is no equality.

Everyone must toil, must labor, must pray to please my God.

Nobody dies an unnatural death. My god keeps an account of everybody. Those who do not serve it’s purpose in time or can be the cause of blasphemy in times to come are put to rest from their worldly obligations as and when my God desires.

I desire from my God no more than the strength to spread the message of my God honestly and justly.

Social security through job guarantee. Labor produces wage. India and bharat are the same thing.

'A World Without a World View: the condition of post-modernity'

A game of chess. A turn. An opportunity. An empty shrine. How do we know? Maya. Lila. A bell ringing. A dog without Pavlov. Africa's children. Profit. Laws. Justice. Love. Care. Reality. Truth. A veil of ignorance. An equal start? Echoes in a cave. Evolutionary selections. A religion of science. Money and power. What is good. What is right. What is value? Touch. Smell. Feel. Know. Believe. Do. Beautiful. Energetic times. Progressions and Regressions. Numbers and sequences. Responsible Freedoms. A choice. A game of chess. A turn. .. Resilience ..

A disorienting monologue

(Written sometime in feververy month of 2017. This was an expression of a different kind of literary freedom I was experiencing reading continental philosophers. Warning - I do not think this will help anyone.)

Understanding        .

Close your eyes and concentrate. Concentrate is not the right word. Rather you must try to stop thinking. That is do not allow any thought come into your mind. think it would be difficult how could one ever stop feeling the beating heart, or the breathing lungs or the ears hearing or the eyes seeing. May be what would help in the exercise would be to go in stages. That is first allow any voice in the vicinity to come to you, to be heard. Hear but don’t listen that is try to make no sense of it. Practice this till the time the question arises in your mind - why do you even think? What drives me you to think, to see, to hear, to read? Why should I be using my so precious energy which is fought over so much, which the Sun burns itself so much to produce such magnificent heat to cause electricity transfer in the neurone because electricity transfer it must be as seeing reading is a brain activity and thinking too - stored energy from the blood of the stomach to the blood of the eyes activating the dormant neurone of the eye to send a signal to optic centre of the brain and causing that minor reverberation in the surrounding environment of it something similar to what you sometime hear from the overhead real metal electric wires. Why should I be involved in this cycle of food consumption and other processes on a day to day basis. Why should I you me him her they think? To what end nature wants to accomplish through this?

Yes there is no meaning of life. These are all myths including this but its the myth propagated in the spirit of method of science to find the objective truth in wake of pragmatism known by the name of the country of liberal capitalist bolsheviks.

And yes too to jugglery of words that this is for I belong to the forgotten class of those master jugglers who could charm the snake to the extent that they wear it as a garland and soak its poison in the blue neck something in the spirit of the Derridian auto-affection and Fouccaultian neglected subjects of history - a tradition which is very pragmatically termed as obfuscation.

I know professional jammers and Hemingwayians both be very upset by the use of the word - very and now I have made the mistake twice.

So much for digression lets now continue on our path to understand the entity called nothingness so that we may make a first stride in the path of understanding a number and subsequently integer and prime and also lets try to be on the charted course.

“Ground control to the space centre” something in the spirit of Elton’s rocket man. This is not a digression - this is a song which is a part of the whole process of understanding without which and its property termed music nothing can really be said to be understood. It is something like knowing the name of the thing but not the thing itself - something which virgins and serious students of nothingness must be wary of.

I feel a bit crippled by not being able to use very but Hemingway and jamming are to be respected. Also we must keep joyce’s joy in mind for it will be needed when we will be discussing the death - that scary scary thing, Lacanian lack, Freudian unconscious, Husserl’s phenomenology’s doubleness of becoming and auto-affection of which Derrida was also a strong proponent and are not to be confused.

See this whole endeavour is to be thought in terms of Wittgenstein’s mistake and setting the course of much of the intellectual life of 20th century in the wrong direction. Now if I made a mistake and it has consequences then Wikipedia not me is to be blamed. With sufficient warning to myself and me - let us start our work, something along the lines “smoking causes cancer” - let us have cancer.

See the situation is such that if I do not literally wring your brains out and tickle your heart a bit so much so that you get tired of thinking and feeling itself - until that what I want to show you can’t be adequately shown. So in the spirit of a strict teacher of Floyd’s “stop sarcasm in the classroom” and “we don’t need no education” let us get going, get engaged in this vedic yagya or exchange of your mind and my mind, of your thinking and thought.

“jab ego tutati hai to bahut bura hota hai” a professor of psychology told a class full of students - young, bright, brilliant, scientific students. And as if I was waiting for it to happen because for me everything was experience but at the time when it happened I didn’t know well has it really happened and I continued waiting and in a way is still waiting. For ego reformulates itself it takes the shape of someone other - only this time you are aware of the process compared to the previous time when you didn’t really had a choice but still somehow you still kind of remain the same - you maintain your unity. Since you are always becoming and unbecoming - you approximate more and more towards that united ideal of you that you and only you can experience for no-one else has the privilege of the first person experience.

Maybe its because that the hand is still the same hand with which I first ate - a biologist may point out that it is not it too has gotten many subsequent changes of cells [need scientific term here] but to which I will say that marks of that bruise on the knee is still there so in a way it has maintained its structure nature but it feels so different from then to now. It no longer pains anymore that concrete knee scratching basketball court and the first sensation of real pain.

What happened in between is nothing. Sensible sense is sensed and that is where something happens, being takes place and it is the place of nothing. It is not easy to know for as soon as you believe in it - it hides itself behind your belief. You could know it only by justifying it that there must be something of its nature as when you reflect on that moment when you wanted to be one just that one and you wanted Other just that Other and you did become that one who wanted that Other but it only lasted for that moment and you started becoming some other moment after you let it go. Something killed, covered, defaced that one and something else took its place - that is what gives you your first clue of the thing - nothing. That is what happens when you move on, you are not able to hold onto something any longer.

For life - it goes on from shore to shore in a flow in a continuity with some abrupt paradigm shifts but continuous nonetheless. Phew! man that was heavy now the rabbit has just shown some signs that it may really be in the hat but if it really is it has not really shown its face. To give a bad analogy and lighten the mood a bit it is like Schrodinger cat which is dead and yet is not dead - rabbit is there and yet not there yet.

No use - the mood is still morose I know it must be because of that word - death and for the first time in your life you realise what it means to kill, to be killed, to mourn someone and when Muslims shout - “Hussain - I should have been there”, to know death.

I know the task is hopeless for how can one possibly claim to know such things as death and nothing - its simply preposterous and for somebody involved in such a endeavour the path is beset with hopelessness which Chomsky claims is the pessimistic nature of all such endeavours for they are doomed to be doomed.

But curiosity is a strange being too and the really curious ones flick away any such warnings with the determination of a kick destined for the goal. And that is the second clue and the most important tool for our endeavour - curiosity and the real curious ones and we must learn to identify the pretenders but still should applaud an honest attempt - in the spirit of the greek tradition of sportsmanship and olympics.

The real fun trivia to lighten the mood and this time I will succeed. Vishnu doesn’t blink you know why because prolonged open eyes bring tears so he must not be able to cry - must be really happy to be not able to cry ever - don’t you think!

Laughter. Ha Ha!

Have you noticed we break our words by white spaces but in speech it doesn’t happen that way and a lot of work has been done on this by linguistics, must be strange for written language and spoken language to have such difference must be related to the identification of events by early ones of us.

You somehow start to get a glimpse of the truth itself, of your oneness with nature i.e. everything around you for how can it be anything but nature and you see all the web of lies people make to make for themselves a perfect abode and still you know deep into your heart that it too is natural - rightly termed as evolution. What event in the world will bring what consequences can’t be known beforehand - how different the world could have been if the idea of that ritual, the observation of that quality, that person would have given up in his quest forever - we don’t know  but continue in our everyday adventures believing having faith in the Earth that it will not open up like a volcano and engulf everything that we so proudly call Life.

Part of my method is to create doubt in your mind about the supposed meaning and real meaning to the point you realise there is no real meaning that it too has no meaning. When confronted such you will eventually loose hope for a psychological unity of yourself and will fall back upon the physical unity which is the body. You realise that yourself reflects from nothing. So now there are three things the physical self which is reflected by nothing and the reflection which is perceived as self - even when it denies itself reasonably. Self is always becoming and has never yet become but it is always becoming over itself.

You are a different person everyday and you try to draw conclusions whether that smiling watchman that maid that colleague that school mate that college mate that teacher that professor would remember you when you are long gone when you ask for a favour unexpectedly or expectedly or when you are in a bad situation or a good situation and you try to interpret various signs give them meanings to them and to yourself they might have given from time to time indication of their love or their hate and aggregating all that up to make a consistent Wittgensteinian picture of facts so that it may make sense to you atleast and to you listener, to your reader, to your watch.

You become in that moment a poet, a philosopher, a psychologist, a businessman - that much abused word becomes beautiful too for you see it too in a different light as a transactor, an engager, a yajman of sacrifice called love. You become a prateek in the lower case for someone else comes before you. You realise for the first time what could have drove all of them to use first names in their compositions - kabira, rahima rahim, ghalib.

For you now know love in all it’s colours, you learn what a moment could do, that words have power too and you extrapolate this to find how much violence they have done so far. Why were they all fighting for what, you know all that is not love. And that too shall pass for now you know they fight for themselves they love themselves too - love could be of the other of the self too. And you see what Foucault and Dostovyesky sees in the mad fools. And you begin to understand what Derrida calls auto-affection.

You understand this is dangerous and can unleash the hounds of hell and from that moment you carry a rowling’s wand and a tolkien’s ring with you forever subtly forever ready to produce magic at any moment you wish. But Martin’s story still remains incomplete and rabbit has still not shown its head. Its the ultimate wall to bounce your proverbial balls from - that sweet nothing of velvety touch.

Yes how many pop culture references were there in the above paragraph is the name of the game and how self-conscious he is in not producing any references in this paragraph is yet another type of game. For you only play games when you make the game of gladiator greeks your starting point - you lead to more and more games with much more complexity and more subtle rules.

And ultimately that final realisation that you don’t have to play their games you can invent your own - like the variations of cricket and football the innocent children so readily invent in their street plays. And then you keep on inventing - reinventing in your constraints that is your imagination - you sometime deceive yourself that you are not really playing a game but now the play is with yourself and you are the fool, the director, the actor, the king and their modern counterparts all by yourself. You become your own and only judge and there is no-one not even you the reader to turn to for redemption.

Like I deceive myself that this and this words make one complete whole. I am not much different from those who have found respite in the words when everything else had failed.

It is a form of emancipation too for you think you can become anyone you like - in one moment you are the king of the world and in another the poorest of the poor and have you noticed that there is no list for 100 poorest people on Earth for they are insignificant - the neglected ones - the ones who are removed from the discourse of history.

The problem of the location of the nothing - well it is located somewhere in the middle of your brain in a rectangular or square plane I am not quite sure of and is rotating at different speeds at different times (for example in sleep versus wake versus awakening and also morning and evening) and as you know a rotating plane constitutes a sphere and a sphere can be dissected in infinite planes so there are differently varying different reflexivities of the plane. This is called absurdism with the adjective deliberate added to show my disposition.

Write my boy write for you are born cry your lungs out. Fernando Pessoa’s mans. My empirical evidence for my theory of nothing and now give me a medal which I will so pin to my chest like Karan pinned the armour to the chest and will roam the wide world to give it away for nothing but a few voilet words straight from the pumping machine to pumping machine. That noise in the morning which tells that the water is running and it is time to toilet.

Do you feel a hollow sometimes? well it is a hollow only nothing else don’t put too much attention to it. Oh! did I just give you a hint.

They said if you keep extending the parallel lines they meet at infinity and I followed them to find nothing. Its a bit like a girl-boy affair. Don’t know if it was of any good though I finally found nothing in all its splendid grandeur and there was one who dared to do that before Aryabhatta was his name. It was easy for him from there to take that first step next and lo and behold that one came forward.

I am loosing my edge now and must accept to stop now for the thing we seek out to find is everything and yet nothing. A final word I must say before we let the curtains take over. I am afraid I may loose it so I stick with nothing so much - a concept understood in full force guarantees the success or failure of the quest we set out for for it matters no more.

Fear is a greater force for I have discovered it so and who said it is not magical. Rushdie’s Shalimar was the clown from Kashmir that apocalyptic paradise of which we talk no more and only remember it was magic and it was real for once.

I know how I am going to end this stuff by telling you that even after reading all this you will continue your daily chores as if nothing has happened. As if you are yourself and reality is really real and thinking is thinking thought.

—————————————————————————————

Interviewers

Would you call this a work of any seriousness or is it a work of jest?

Many a true things are said in jest. Having said that I think I make myself clear enough in some paragraphs like the one on objective truth and where I explain the situation.

How do you think will people respond to the work?

With hysteria will be a understatement.

You are jesting again.

No I think I am serious and if someone seriously tries to respond to this then they must either be hysteric or becoming hysterics.

You are non-sensical and I am ending this interview now.

That is what Wittgenstein said to all the metaphysicians but that haven’t stopped people from becoming ones have they?

And why is that?

Because we have either already become one or are becoming.

What was this reaction from?

After I read something from Lacan and how incomprehensible it was and connecting with when Freud’s ideas were made known to me and understanding the fatality of understanding anything that you are just fooling yourself.

For you must have some ambition what was your ambition in writing this and that and the other?

Let me quote Pessoa here with whose personality I have been bowled over lately. “For you are a fool who think I write for you or to show you something I write for myself for there is nothing that sticks to my mind as stickly as words”. If someone has given any hopes towards rational enquiry he would be someone like Pessoa. Oh man! it feels so good to attribute something you want said to others. Now I know why those guys up at the top have spokespersons.

What kind of lineage are you leaving for the young ones by indulging in your reckless attitude?

Oh! None. None at all.

Would you like to record a message for the child of century of the 26th first of its name born in the year of 2564 on this day of Tuesday of their week of new harvest?

What is the name of the child again?

Let me check its - child number 41.

Well 41 what a unlucky one. See child you are as luckless as you could ever be so why not make a symphony out of it and play it so loud into your grandfather ear that he keeps on turning in his grave till he is dead. You may make it sound like a screech of metal or a tink will do too.

An ode to Pessoa

(written in the month of freedom of 2017)

i know not what a ode is

but is something that my master will appreciate

i do him wrong to say so but

he bids to say as it feels

and not to think

most importantly not to think

i don’t metre it, i do not care to rhyme it

i don’t even know what it means

för i am a natural human animal

sometimes getting it right sometimes wrong

writing comes to me to keys and to screen together and

it is hard to separate any from anything else

like a hiccup it arises in my belly transfiguring into a sense

that is displayed radiantly on in much brightness on this dumb screen almost by magic

of what right i have to call it dumb for so much time i spend with it

what would i be without it

for sure not even the servant would have known its master if not for it

to find a soul that said what you would have said

isn’t it a wonder that he wrote and i ode

its like a dream you won’t understand

where to begin when to end

staring at the keys words jumble and sometimes mumble

like a lullaby to wake up a sleeping monk

time i know is my enemy and i ran race it with everytime

a sound a click distracts my whole countenance

i run after it madly to capture its essence

like a bee hovering on a flower

dancing its customary dance bidding it show the way

the sweet smell the sweet nectar numbs me

i learn to taste i learn to smell

to make it second nature as breathing is

for a paradise my heart yearns

not there not here but everywhere and nowhere

i assert and i immediately contradict

like fossilised wood is burned to burn the wood

burning stars i try to feel sometimes

a lot of light comes but not the correct light

beating heart it feels like at the end and at the start too

of a dream i must talk and to get to that

i have no means but some images, some fragments

i marvel at motion picture for it has an start and an end and it flows too

when my recollection be like it i yearn to see

my ear drums and i hear a pi-pi-pi

it bids me to go on, it bids me to stay

i stop and i think, the master gives a long hard stare

i know the time has come, to unveil the veil?

like riddles i write to quiz the brains

for those who seek the answer will come

is it joy, is it sorrow i ask?

nothing but grappling everything is

to know not what may come next

to be on the edge, for ever it may last

Amen and an exclamation mark

but reproachable time always stands in the way

i will to make amends, to be friendly to it too

for love thy enemy is the only command!

Children, they are mixing something to your fruits.

(Wrote this in 2016 as well, a more traditional thing - a story with a message)

Jo and Mo were watching TV one day. A farmer was spraying something to the roots of mango trees. Mo liked mangoes, Jo liked watching mangoes. Mo couldn’t have paid less attention to what is being said, he liked mangoes that much. Jo couldn’t think about mangoes, he liked learning about farming that much.

Suddenly, Mo said - “What are they spraying?”
Jo said - “Pesticides.” and shushed him, with a finger on his lips and producing a sound of ssh.
“But why?” - Mo asked
“To keep away the pests.” - Jo said tersely.
“I think they are doing that to increase the number and size of mangoes on the tree. I think it will also
affect the taste of mango.”
This deviated Jo’s attention. Long sentences always deviate Jo’s attention.
“Will it make the taste worse or better?” - Jo asked now.
“I don’t care. I always like mango as long as they are sweet. What do you think will it make it worse or better?” - Mo replied and asked.
“I will have to see. I will eat one mango from a tree with pesticide and one without pesticide and then
decide.”
“Why did you ask me then?”
“I just wanted to know if you have a concept of taste or not. Apparently, you don’t.”
“What makes you think you have a taste. All you said is you will do an experiment and find out. That is no concept of taste.” - Mo seemed irritated.
“Apparently, you are right. But the difference is that I know that I don’t know the concept of taste and also I could answer my question.”
“Then why ask me?”
“To test your knowledge and find out if there is something for myself to learn.”
“So did you learn anything?”
“Yes, I did. That you don’t care about taste when it comes to mango at least. I don’t know if you have
tastes in other matters. I also learn that you ask too many questions. Now, be silent and let me watch the TV.”
“Why can’t we eat mangoes?”
“Because those mangoes grow in a field far away from here. Now stop asking questions and go to
kitchen if you are hungry.”

Jo continued watching TV and Mo went to the kitchen store to see if there were any mangoes in house.

A well studied man

(Wrote this in 2016 when I was under the spell of Hermionie 4. A constitutional warning - 'Viewer discretion is advised'. It is to be seen slowly, word by word, layer by layer.)

Transitioning from a suitable boy to a studied man.

Belief in the hierarchical structure of the world.

They will believe in anything.

I struggle because I am poor. Big eats the small. (pedagogy of oppressed and psychology of oppressed and recessive tendencies of belief in supernatural, superstition, religion)

Religion is not about following the tenets of one god.

It is the complete worldview of an individual through which he directs his behavior.
(sada jeevan, uccha vichaar, sadachar bina sab bekar)

A man may deny the presence in a belief system. That is actually literally impossible unless one has invented all the tenets of the religion themselves.

Ideas diffuse and are interpreted in different ways.

What is said and what is interpreted.

What one may mean by a feeling cannot be exactly understood by someone else.

Humans are conscious of their feelings, moods, behaviors, speech, action.

Now different people are always at different stages of their consciousness. They themselves cannot fully know how conscious they really are.

Same person - differently conscious of things at different times.
Obviously, different person are differently conscious.

Believing in an objective reality and imposing it on everybody with no regard of their subjectivities. Success would mean concentrating the subjective dimensions of the mind to a single objective dimension. This is theoretically impossible. But can be possible in an Orwellian nightmare.

Failure means celebration of plurality of life.

We Indians are very smart we assimilate every foreign god and make it our own.
This smartness is the only hope for a pluralist world.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Brevity. Witty.

What’s on your mind?
Trying to put words to my feelings.
What’s yours?

Read.

Speak.
Think.
Itch.
Think.
Sing.
Breathe.
Listen.
See.

Close.
Open.
Door.

Loud.
Soft.

Sound.

Warm.

Breeze.

Pleasant.

Trin-Trin.
Pi-Pi.
Traffic.

Bright.
Dim.
Light.

Near.
Far.
Hood.

Bit.
Bite.
Charlie.

Breezy.
Still.
Air.

Cold.
Hot.
Day.

Thirst-Water. Hunger-Food.

Naked.
Dressed.
Shame.

Brevity. Witty.

Writing good book tough task.
Scribbled something.
See if it’s any good.

Author.
Publish.
Review.

Anxiety.
Wet.
Kiss.

Fight.

Flight.

Love.

Civilian.
Military.
Defend.

Defend. Attack. Defense.
Attack. Defend. Offense.

Character

Full stop
Space
Character

*
.

*

*. *

Did.
You.
Something.

Cool.
Dude,
Boy.

Instruction.
Act.
Wait.

Match.
Light.
Smoke.

Smart.
Dumb.
Shipwrecked.

Adjective.
Opposite.
Characteristic.

Dumb.
Smart.
Pride.

Start.
Stop.
Prejudice.

Floor.
Bed.
Walls.

Air.
Window.
Room.

Consistent.
Stable.
Power.

Drink.
Quench.
Anger.

Table.
Legs.
Laptop.

Simple.
Complicated.
Too.

Cry.
Laugh.
Joke.

Less.
More.

Figure.

In.
Out.

Ball.

Peaceful.
Silence.
Stillness.

Chaos.
Me.
Chill.

Morning.
Go.
Work.

Hide.
Show.

Mark.

Good.
Bad.
Right.

Wrong.
True.
False.
Statement.

Word.
Word.

Rhyme.

Top.
Bottom.
Rhythm.

String.
Hold.
Stretch.

Long.
Bushy.
Path.

Obscene.
Vulgar.
Beauty.

Words.
Words.
Poems.

English.
English.
Shakespeare.

Civil.
War.
Lincoln.

World.
War.
Hitler.

Holocaust.
Jews.
Hitler.

Noun.
Sentence.
Improper.

I
I.
1.

Me.
Heard.
Thought.
Amazed.
Think.
Why.
Question Mark.
?
Full Stop.
?.

Words.
Together.
Meaning.

Words mean together.
Two.
Gather.

Herd.
Community.

Civilisation.

Slow.

Steady.
Learning.
Memory.
School.
Teacher.
Girl.
Code.
Enter.
Click.

Desperate.

Hope.
Cloud Nine.

Cloud.
Space.
Nine.

Patterned.

Black.
Number.

0101
Dark
Draw

Glory.
Effort.
Incomplete.

Symmetrical
Thoughtful
Perfect

Capital
Labor
Profit

City.
Familiar.
Sight.

Mind.
Wakeful.

Slaver.

Complex.
Difficult.
Prose.

Internet.

Facebook.
Generation.

Data.
Relation.
Adults.

World.
Africa.
War.

Swords.
Clash.
Blood.

Sticky.
Salty.
Taste.

Red.
Dark.
Memory.

Sound.
Sound.
Sleep.

Sound.
Sound.
Up.

Your.
Self.
Behave.

Spark.
I.
Idea.

Who?
Me.
No.
Ego.
No.
Yes.
Yes.

Deep.
Freeze.
Ice.

Speak.

Speak.

Talk.

Verse.
Verse.
Converse.

Stop.
Stop.
Go.

Fun.
Me.
Enjoy.

Feel.
Pain.
Forget.

Trumpet.
Kill.
Strength.

Hear.
Die.
Gameover.

Listen.
Music.
Art.

Define.
Think.
Redefine.

Words.
Mean.
Meanings.

Words mean meanings.
Meanings are not real.
Words are abstract.

Words coming together, sentence.
World coming together, globalisation.
Peace for war, bullshit.

Desperate are young.
Old are weak.
Wisdom.

Sue.
Plead.
Court of law.

Words.
Logic.
Artificial.

People.

Care.
Real.

Society.
Caring.
Family.

Oh
Exclamation
God

O
No space
h

Capital
Small
Font.

Nothing.
Sure.
Absolutely.

Leader.
Yes.
True.

Charisma.
Light.
Play.

Attract.
Fuck.
Cum.

Steps.
Rails.
Stairs.

Voodoo.
Magic.
Indian.

Snake.
Charmer.

Moron.

Fluid.

Mucus.
Nose.

Never
Ending.
Game.

Small.

Big.
Fractal.

Pass.
Stop.
Whistle.

Joyce.
Criteria.
Beauty.

Things.
Three.
Beautiful.

What?
A.
Idea.

Smoke.
Capture.
Patterns.

Photo.
Camera.
Picture.

Visual.
See.
Visualise.

Visualise the visual. Stop. Think. Sentence? Labor more. Last sentence. Only noun. No sentence.

Challenge.
Fear.

Continue.

Go.
Must.
Show.

Troubled.
Mind.
Tolerate.

Toilet.

Tolerate.

Manners.

Habit.

Bad.

Secret.

Character.

Good.

Moral.

A.

Is

A good character is a moral character. Slow, very slow. Haunting. Ghosts. Stop. Go back. Sleep. Dream. Nightmare. Allow. Blurry. Vision. Clarity. Parts. Visual clarity. TV. Television. To see far. Horizon. Earth. Sky. Meet. Earth and sky meet at the horizon. Speed. Fast. Oasis. Desert. Illusion. Lesson. Learn. Must. 1. 1 must learn lesson. 1 can’t learn. 1 can learn. 1 is a number. No. Yes. 1 is character. No character. I.

Word

Space

Word

Words

Big space

Paragraph

Par

A

Graph

Trunk

Roots

Tree

Stem

Leaves

Flower

Pollen

Stigma

Stemen

Eggs

Sex

Penis

Intelligent

I

Waste

Research. Kanpur. City. Delhi. Branch. Engineering. Cream. Me. Milk. Everyone. Churned milk produces cream. Produce. Factory. Product. Sell. Earn. Live. Happy. Die. Morning. Bath. Water. Bag. School. Night. Office. Work. Evening. Go. Home. Work. Question. What. ?. Everything. Desperate. Remember. Hope. Create. Type. Effort. Livelihood. Drink. Chill. Live. Tell me not in mournful numbers, life is but a dream. P. B. Shelley. Percy. Bysy.

What? Why? Why not?

Stop. Please. Stop.

You are killing me.

Electricity.

Chair.

Jerks.

Photo.

Frame.

TV.

On.

Camera.

Act.

In.

Language.

Rape.

Hello! My name is rapist today. I will rape in language today. Obscene. Vulgar. What is up? Thinking lately. Answer. Question. Answer to a question. A 2 ?. Two. Pair. Together. Forever. ? Check. Use. No use. See. No use at all. Told you so. Do you see now? Question mark, I mean. ?

Can someone please say what is going on? What is going on?

A heart desires. 1000. One Two Three Four till thousand. 1 2 3 4 …. 1000. Counted. Nicely stacked up. Burn. Make a pile. Click a photograph. Spread propaganda. Terrorise mind. No. Sssh…. Don’t Speak. Sleep now. Everything is alright. All’s well indeed.

Need. Speak. Talk. People. No. Can’t. They don’t want to talk. Who told you so? Them. When. Then. Then is not a time. It used to be then. At 4 o’clock. Ok. Recording. Check. No Evidence. Guilty. Yes. Jail. Jailor. Hunter. Silence. Dark. Explosion. Light. Smoke. Mushroom. Eat. People. Fear. Accept. Tyranny. It is not tyranny if it is not acceptable. Tyranny must be accepted. Heil Hitler. Heil America. No. Hate. Destroys everything. Come together. Let’s fight again.

Click

Clash

Leak

Lead

Fire

Hole

Skirmish

Rafael

French

Bomber

Carpet Bombing.

Flat world.

Dimensions.

1

2

3

3 seems alright. Let’s start with it. Start. Must stop. Time. Fourth. Dimension. Space-time. Einstein. Relativity. Time can stop. World can continue. Lightspeed. God. Nietzsche. There are no morals for we have killed the God. Killed the God. Fool. Blasphemy. Attack. Listen. Reason.

Science

Darwin

Fit

Rest

Move

Gym

Calm

Thinking

Mind

Imagination. Fantasy. Labor. Reality. Labor pays. Fantasy sells. Brands. Consumers. Branded consumers.

Word. Word. Sense. Sometimes. Good. That is good. It has started to snow. Flaky, soft snow. White, cool snow. Color, feel colorful. Red. Woman. Blush. Blush. Red. Woman. Red woman blushes. Woman blushes red. Women while blushing become red. Women are red and they blush. Opposite. Sex. Chaos. Orgasm. One. Multiple. Man. Woman. Masculine. Feminine. Bull. Cow. Labor. Milk. Money is milk. Milking money. Business. Businesses milk money. Money. Labor. Worker. Labor creates money. Money interests capital. Woman interests me.

Stop.
Vulgar.
Obscene.

Don’t, please don’t. Language screams. I shirk. Shirk. Me. No. Google. Now. Find meaning. Life. Meaning of life. What a joke? 42. Joke. Comedy. Seinfeld. Good. Character. Really? So much love. Thank you.

Joke.
Tragedy.
Literature.
Small man.
Big man.
Fight Big man.
Shakespeare.

Drama.
Don’t.

Drama don’t. Don’t drama. No. Told you so. Stop. No. Drama.

Real poetry. Children’s poetry. The true face. Joke. Laughter. Joke. Laughter. Class. Teacher. Joke. Laughter. Children laugh at the teacher. Teacher is funny. Fun. HaHa. No. HuHa. Corleone. No. Michael. Godfather. No. The scent of a woman. General. Pacino. Al Pacino. You must have heard the name.

Knuckles. Crack. Sound. Game. Attack. Defend. Me. Please me first. I see a hand going up. Yes, yes you mister. Me. Yes, you. Me, you talking me. Me talking you. No, you don’t mean me. You mean him. Oh! Yes. I forgot. I remembered almost. One is true. One is false. The true one can’t be false. The false one can’t be true.

World. Fact. Sense. Thought. Proposition. Language. Logic. Logical language. Reasonable. Rational. Irrational. Numbers. No. People. Numbers. 7,00,00,00,000. Indian system. 7,000,000,000. International system. 700 crore. 7 billion. People. No. Number. Difference.

Economics. Numbers. Politics. People. Meanings are transcendental. Fucking in language. Fucking with language. Fucking with mind. My mind. Your mind. Everybody’s mind. Lonely. Single. Number.

Humor. Dark. Dark humor. Siren. Alarm. Crash. Bomb. House. Dead. Death. Peace. Says president.

Symbol.
Power.

Powerful symbol. President. A photo hanging. Napoleon. General. Commander-in-chief. Chiefs of commanders. Commander of chiefs. Many chiefs. Large world. More war. More peace. Happiness all around. What a dream.

Glass.
Stones.
House.
Don’t throw.
Other houses.
Own glasshouse.

They who have homes of glasses, don’t throw stones. Hindi. Proverb. English. Translation. Work. Classwork. Homework. Where is the fun in your life? Here. Where. Here. You still don’t see. What keeps you awake at night. Dreams. What are dreams made of? Language. You are killing it. Wait. What? I don’t kill. It’s a phrase. No, I actually don’t kill. I mean. Killing means you are doing good. Good. More. Do more good. Kill more. I am killing it.

Just fine.

Language.
Work.
Backwards.
It started.
A
B
C

A for Apple
B for Ball
C for Columbus

Italy. Navigation. Small trade route. Ultimate trading destination. The immigrant song. Led Zeppelin. 70s. Music. Rock. Rock music. Classical. Classical rock music. Wonderful.

Philosophy. Socrates. Plato. Aristotle. On Art. Art is mostly useless. Music is the most useless of all arts. Superlatives. Comparatives. Absolute best. Superlatives. Mine. Big. Mine. Bigger. Mine. Biggest. 67 inches. Approximately, 150 centimeters. Meter. Length. Why 67? 69. Smirk.

Freud. Sex. Vishnu. Leg. Vishnu is religious, Freud is God. Psychology as a science has evolved. Psychology. Science. Evolution. Or Evolution leads to science to psychology. Palindrome. It is same both ways. Cycle. One after another after another. Repeat. Do it again. Once more. Trample on.

Circus
Audience
Claps

Stage
All
World

Role. Play. Play roles. Role play. Did you mean Rose? Yes. The titanic. The nude lady with a green stone. Nude lady. Not vulgar. Language is vulgar. Calling nude. Calling lady. What is more vulgar? In my honest opinion, this is no lady. Sorry Spielberg. Oh! Not you rose darling. I meant the Arabs. Kill. Kill. Osama. Osama. Kill. Kill. Revenge. Ahh….Orgasm.

Feeling
That feeling.
Lost virginity.
Remember.
What a night? Or day?
Sensual

Rough
Tension

Pleasure.
Malice.
Sadism.


Length.
No idea.
Not long enough. Write more. How much more? Till the end of time. You sound ridiculous. You too. Making random statements do not make you funny. Actually they do. Will you give any reason? Haven’t give enough? No. Let me continue.

You have no idea what you are doing.
I have exactly the right idea. I feel strangled. Have you been experiencing accelerated breathing lately? No. What? No. I thought you said something about strangulation.

Strangulation is the process in which one kills another. You hold the neck. Tighten the grip. Grip is tightened. Tolerate punches. Punches are tolerated. Strength weakens. Grip tightens. Strength goes out. Grip loosens. Dead man. Killer man. Good stuff.

Picture. Thousand words. Words. Thousand pictures.
Tired. Bored. Continue. Sleep now. No waking up. Are you sure? Scripts are sure. Life. Not so.

Read. Why? Either you will or somebody else will. Supply and demand. Free markets. Invisible hand. Spanks ass. Classroom. Childhood. Teacher spanked today. Prices were stable today. Stock market fine. No worries. Sleep tight tonight. Market will open tomorrow again.

Just a minute. J. A. M. JAM. Jam. Bread and jam are wholesome food. Or was it butter? No questions during jamming. Let’s start over. Bread and butter are wholesome food. Did you like the song? Remember no question. You liked the song. I did. What is the difference? No question today. No difference. It’s the exact same thing we have here. Oh and it is happening in nation A, nation B and nation Z as of now. Soon, we will be everywhere. Hurrah! Hip! Hip!

Hip!
Hip!
Hurrah!

Soft. Soft. Loud. Louder. Loudest.

The portrait of an artist as a young man.
Portrait. Picture. Picture of something. Artist. Profession. Poor profession. To be avoided. Young. Age. Lots of sex. Man. Animal. One who fucks.

You will not talk of civilisation. You have to learn the meaning of civilisation.

Lots of pages. Lots of hate. I feel good. They may not like your straight forwardness. Confident and straightforward men are desirable. By women and followers alike. They are called alpha. Males. Alpha males. Alpha symbol and male. Freud said so. I am just repeating what was said.

Care.
Joy.
Laughter.

I.
My.
Mine.

I take care of my family. I have no family. I don’t care.
I take joy in my family. I have no family. I don’t enjoy.
I create laughter with my family. I think about my family. I laugh. I don’t show. It is evil. Millions are dead. Another million are sick. Another million are hungry. I must waste as much as possible. Party. Party. Yo. Party, party, party! Party, party, party!

Republican, republican, republican. Yo!
Democrat, democrat, democrat. Yay!

Four fingers. Hidden thumb. Wave.
Sideways cap. Dismantled hair. Groovy style.

Dead Poets Society. D. P. S. Delhi Public School. School for public of delhi. School by public of delhi. School of public of delhi. City names should be capital. They are always to be respected. Respect city names. No small letters. Remember. Remember. The Ides of March. When Caesar died, Antony raised the mob and Brutus escaped.

The mob. Who is the mob? We the citizens. Shakespeare for sure didn’t mean us. Did he? Tell me honey? Is it true? Did our ignorance killed Caesar? What is known can’t be seen, what is seen can’t be known. Medicine. Food for thought. Calculate. More and more. Harvard, Massachusetts, Cambridge. University. Higher Education. Schools of high learning.

Mountains.
Plateaus.
Plains.

Rapid.
Mild.
Slow.
Descent.
River.
Sea.
Vapor.
Current.
Dust. Vapor. Dust and vapor. Vapor and dust.
Cloud.
Snow. Rain. Drizzle. Hail. Sleet.
Precipitation.
Flow.

Time.

Feel.
Can’t
Know?
Sun went down. What? Where? Into the ocean. Is the water boiling? Boiling water. Blisters. Pain. Ugly. Sight. Syria. Lebanon. Middle East. Black. Money. Oil. Convert green money. Dollar. Undergarment. Placeholder. Gun. Fire. Attack. Blood. Color. Red. Bodies. Antibodies. Blood. Transfuse. A 2 A. B 2 B. AB to AB. O to all. 0 to 1. 1 to 0. Zero before everything else.

Meaning. Where? Here. There? There. Yes. It’s time you get angry. I am angry. I meant show. What? I don’t show. It is not like I am asking for your holy penis. No, No. Such blasphemy.

Concrete.
Dust.
Soil.
Roots.
Deep. Too. Roots go deep. Inverted forests. Brown. Entanglement. Hairs. Make space. Come together. There is enough for everyone. Suck. Suck water. Keep earth dry. Earth, world, dust, soil. Organic. Life.

Tick-tock

Tick-tock

Bang

First second.

Second second.

Number Time.

Number in time.

Time in number.

Atom smaller and smaller parts. Time smaller and smaller units. Planck time. Time by the watch of uncle Planck. Max Planck Institute. Germany needs peace. Wrongdoings. Bomb. Bomb. Hiroshima. Nagasaki. They got selected. They rhymed. The chosen ones. Uranium. Plutonium. Nuclear weapon. Well guarded missiles.

North
South
East West. North East. South West. Winds. Westerlies. The tropical climate. Wind. Breeze. Storm. A storm came. It took everything away.How much did you lose? Two pounds. You? I am halfway there. Speak. Think. Think. Speak. Conversation. Focus. Focus. Speak. Continue. Speech. Thought. Thoughtful speech. Unthoughtful speeches. Possible. The high stage. Table. High table. Round table. Talks. Closed Doors. Mahogany wood. Plaster of Paris.

Breads. Crumbs. Crumbs of breads. Hansel and Gretel. Witch. Sugarhouse. Sugardaddy. You should be ashamed of yourself. They can do. I can’t think. You can’t learn. What? Impossible. Nothing is impossible. Impossible is nothing. Impossibility = Nothingness. Symbol of equality.

=

Length.
Width.
Line.

Line.
Space.
Line.
Equality.
Perfect equality is not possible. Weak suffer what they must. Politics. Politics. Bad. Bad. People. They kill. They have the right to do so.

Gun.
Trigger.
Aim. Snipe. Lock. Wait for the cue. Cue.

Disciplined. Force. Military. Brainwashed people killing brainwashed people. Let’s make money. Brain. Washing. Screech. Screech. Rub. Rub. Stains are good. This. this. That. that.

Canada. Lakes. Islands. Lakes and islands. Islands and lakes. Lakes and lakes. Islands and Islands. Country and country. Far and far. Distance in space. Long in time. Long time takes long distance. No. Long distance takes long time. Long time allows long distance. Dimensions. Strings. Theory. When did they stop being rubber bands? Now. Can you please repeat your answer to the previous question for the whole class? Now. We must sit down and listen.

Cinderella. Princess. Shoes. Pumpkin. Juicy. Round. Layered. Tasty. Halloween. Not everyday. Trick or treat. Children and their plays. Boys and their toys. Men and their machines.

What is ours? Everything. Liar. No. Yes. No. Yes. Yes. Yes. You don’t give. I take. You can’t take without me giving. You can’t too as well then. So be it. You want to go by this route. I am way ahead of you. I will catch up. Make sure, don’t sleep. Hare, tortoise. The story. The familiar sight. City. Fast. Too fast. Country. Life. Too boring.

Fan the fire. Fanning produces turbulence in air. If the turbulence sustains itself till the fire. Extinguishes fire or fans it. Size of the fire. Size of the fire doesn’t matter, what matters is the temperature of the fire. Touch Feel. Cold. Hold. Burn. Complaint. You held for too long. Cut out that limb. Deafen this ear. Silence. Silence with a capital s. Capital s. S capital. What is this? S. It increases numbers of things and is of vital importance.

Important vitals seem fine. Unimportant ones are not. Don’t need the unimportant ones. Take them out. Red Blood cells. Convex shaped. No nucleus. Flow in blood. Die. Bone marrow. Creates more red blood cells. Children more born, less dead. Young are more and less equal. Old die. Natural death. Sleep. Dream. Go to bed.

Shipwrecked brother. Sands of time. Footsteps.

Foot. Foot. Step. Foot. Step. Foot. Step. Foot. Step. March. Spring. Time. Year. Month in a year. March. March. Stop. Wreckage. Havoc. Living hell. Shouting. Cold water. Antarctica. Shouting. Wood. Hold. Hold. Missed. Try. Try. Survive. Live. Fittest. Twig. Hold. Ocean drowns the twig. The twig was drowned here.

Vocabulary. Limited. Improve. Must. Debate. Necessary. Lose. Bad vocabulary. Bad morals. Bad manners. Good. Towards good. To go to good. Sell good. Sound economics. Save capital. Musical economics. Invest capital. Take risks. Mind blown. Literally. Place the gun in level with eyes just a notch above the right ear and boom. Story over.

Gloves.
Splash.
Blood.

Blood splash analyst. Dexter. Dee-Dee. Didi. Sister. Young. Marriage. Save. Hurry! Save today. Get up. Go to market. There is no water at home. Must get water for morning’s defecation. Inappropriate word. Words are not inappropriate. Meanings are. I give you words. You give me meanings. Let’s play this game. I like it. Like. Seriously? Like, like. Like, like like. Yes. Like kill. Kill. Kill.

America. Power. Mexico. Drugs. Canada. Islands. China. Small eyed people. Russia. Vodka. Depressed lot. Japan. We develop. We don’t fight. Africa. Disease. India. Voodoo. Brazil. Olympics. Latin America. When america was discovered in latin. When latin discovered in America. Language. Land. Language of the land. Land of the language. Land. Money. Dollar. Control language. Control mind. Show. Example. Advertise. Sample.

Take data as you like it. Manipulate data as you like it. Identify patterns as you like it. Treachery of parrot. Flaubert. Flaubert spoke. Parrots speak all the time. Imitate. Mirror neurons.

Synapse. Neurotransmitter. Cerebrospinal fluid. Neurotransmitters. Attach. Detach. Happy. Sad. Control. Lose. Flow. The fluid. The fluid. Which flows. Pumping and flowing. Beating. Beating and pumping and flowing. Beating. Beating. Pumping the flow. Beat chests. Mourn dead. Hussain. I should have been there.

Allah! Me. Please, me.

Kill for peace. Sack for peace. Plunder for peace. The minar at Mecca must stand. Lakhs gather. Haj. The great pilgrimage. The great deserts. Lost in memories. Sit. Fly. Circle. Pray. Flight. Relax. Nicely done. Mountain. Goddess. Fire. Natural gas burns. Pray or it will consume you. Danger. Fear. Afraid. Me. Of the Goddess.

She is benevolent. She can give. She can’t take.

Soft spoken. Speak. Softly. Love.
Param-pa-parampa.
Rock. King. Elvis. Pop. King. Jackson. Elvis jackson. Target locked. Ready to fire. Waiting on your command, mr. president. On my cue everybody say hallelujah. David played and it pleased the lord. The harp. Strings. Vibrate. Vibrating strings. String theory. Mathematics. Numbers. Abstract. Abstractions.

Sing me a good number. The piano man. Long thick white keys. Small thin black keys. Press keys. Enter. Space. Keyboard. K, click, sound, E, click, sound and so it continues and they live together happily ever after as one. One as in 1. No. One as in the keyboard. Learn. Focus. Why don’t you talk to me?

Speaking. Who is this? Who is asking? Me. Oh! Yes. You. Wow. Microwave radiation from the big bang itself. Play extraordinariae. French. Oui. Je vous. Avez vous? Kiss. French kiss. Lips. Suck them dry. Wet kiss. Tongue rolling. Slip of a tongue.

Roll. Roll. Roll. Till we hit the floor. Oh, yeah! Jim and his band. They played a song not long before in a space far far away from here. Speed of light is frame agnostic. I know. I know you don’t know. I don’t know. Jon knows nothing. Wild woman teaches civil Jon. Some crow shat.

My pyjamas got dirtied. Hit. Slap. Slap. Hit. Cosmic silence. Cosmology. Starts. Black. Round. Dark. Halo. Fabric. Singularity. Potential. Potential Energy. Statics. Kinetic Energy. Dynamics. Statics and dynamics. Dynamics and statics. Physics. Cause and Effect. Every force has an equal and opposite reaction. Entropy of a closed system always increases. Increase. Increase. Stock prices. Up. Up. Up.

Boom. Crap. Crap. Crap. Let’s hack the game. Tweak. Tweak. Play. Up? Up? Up? And it went down. Down. Stop. Stop. Stop. Good. Good. Hold now. Steady yourself. Behave now. Increase when I say increase. Decrease when I say decrease. Mr. goldman says increase and decrease. Increase the New York, decrease the Tokyo and balance others out in the process. No. It was the other way around. Increase Tokyo, decrease NY. No. Sun rises in the east first. Decrease Tokyo, increase NY.

Pacific. Ocean. One-fourths of the earth’s waters. One part out of four part. 1 slash 4. ¼.

Day. Next day. Start from the end. Water. Drown. Drowning water. 10 millilitres. Drown. Lungs. Filled. Air. Water. Air and water. Water and air. Complex. Complex. Structure. H2O. H said something. O listened. O said. H listened. Go back. Learn. Weak. Strong. Strong and weak. Weak and strong. Together. To gather. Complex. Complex. Structure. Evolve. Grow. Let it grow. Complex. Complex. Complex.

Complex. Security. Security complex. Intelligence. Find patterns. Too hazy. Too blurry. Can’t make out anything. See and you shall see. Smoke. Patterns. White. Powdery. White powder against dust background. Curve. No curve. Straight lines. Imagine. Large circle. Walk along the surface. Curved or straight? Curved. No. Let’s do this again. Earth goes in circle around Sun. No circle. Ellipse. It is same for our purposes. Curve family. You go straight or in a circle. Straight. You live on Earth. Earth goes in circle. I go straight. Understand. Understanding. Circles. Straight lines. Tangent.

Tangent. Normal. Normal tangent. Redundant. Tangent is always normal. Radius. Point of tangency. Abnormal. Psychopath. Sociopath. Dangerous. Run. Run. Away. The executive. They protect. They kill. They kill to protect. They protect to kill. Preparation. War. Prepare for the war. Why are we happy? Our time has still not come. Time comes. Cometh the time. Comets. Dead people.

Million. 1 2 3 up to million. Count. People dead. No. 1 slash. Remember the ancient method of counting. IIII slash. 1 2 3 4 slash makes 5. 1234/5 1234/5. 10. Number. Insufficient symbols. Find more. Pagan. Idols. Cross. Walls. West wall. Bloodied. 1 crossed. Check. 2 crossed. Check. 3 crossed. Check. Scientific methodology. Proof by induction. 1 crossed. True for one. Assume N crossed. N+1 crossed. True for N+1. Hence, proved. Everyone crossed. Religion. No. Science. Religion represses and depresses. Sciences proceeds and progresses. Kills. No. No. Blasphemy. No questioning science.

Science without questions is no science. Science without answer is? Statement. Question. Question. Statement. ?. .? What came first? Chicken or Egg. Egg or chicken. Darwin says evolution. Fruits. Reap. Reap fruits. Fruits of science. Labor of man. Science of man’s labor. Economics. Science of money. Economics. Ecology. Science of environment. Money. Money. Save. Save. Environment granted.

Man gives the environment. Environment gives nothing. Sun. Bright. Stars. Dim. Moon. Phases. Moods. Angry. Soil. Sow. Reap. Soil. Sow. Reap. Bull. Use. Use bull to sow. Seed. Seed. Plant. Plant. Crop. Food. We are not vegans. We eat eggs. Straight. With yolk. Without yolk. Anyway is fine. Meat. Meat. Kill. Eat. Kill. Eat. Patterns. One kills to eat. Man gives the environment.

Tired. Bored. Coherence. Complicated. Increasingly complicated. Make it more complex. No simple things. Life. No simple things in life. Argument. Argument. Democracy. Yay! Largest. Size? No. Numbers. Yes. Confusing. That’s the name of the game. Confusion. Chaos. Anarchy. Widespread. Widespread anarchy. Peace. Music.

Jazz and rock. Rocky jazz. Jazzy rock. Anyway is fine with me. Paint. Canvas. Paint on a canvas. Painting. Surreal. Real. Abstract. Still things. Vegetables. Basket. 1 lady finger. 2 potato. And a pumpkin too. Wood. Twigs. Interwoven wooden twigs. Basket. Vegetables and basket. Basket and vegetables. Mind and music. Music and mind. Parts. 2. Picture. Complete. Picture complete. Complete picture.

People. Care. People care. Care people! Charity. No. Irrational. Bad economics. Third world society. People. Money. People money. Money People. Yes. Rational. Good economics. First world society. Three to one. One two three. Loop. Loop. It’s a loop. Break. Break. Kit-Kat. Kitkat break. Presenting you with a kitkat break. Microphone. Speaker. Motion picture. Box. TV.

Marconi. No macroni. People. Food. Food. Food. Eat. Eat. Speak. Listen. Repeat. Converse. Verse after verse after verse. Verses. Songs. Song, no food. Trap. Jail. Grow. Up. Height. This year. One hundred one centimeters. Pede after pede after pede. Centipede. Next year. One hundred and two centimeters. And so goes the legend.

Archimedes. Bath. Bathing Archimedes. Bubble. Soap and water. Water and soap. Bubbles and bubbles. Eureka! Leave bath. Run to the king. The king. The king. The all-knowing with long hands. Law. Too just. Break the law. No not kit-kat again.

Fake hair. Black coat. Well rounded face. Bowtie. Justice. Statue. Blind. Balance. Libra. Liberty. Gift. France. Gift from france. Love. Gift from france with love. Small f. Wrong. Nation and People. Nation and its people are to be respected. Make that f capital. Fuck. Capital.

Rage. Rage. Gentle. Night. Do not go gentle into that good night. Good night. Greeting. Greet with goodnight. No. No. Leave with goodnight, greet with good evening. Yes. Yes. I learn. I am learning. Slowly and steadily. I will win the race. Gentle. Rage. Gentle rage.

Man. Man. Gentleman. English. High-class. Upper class. Classes. People. Classes of people. Rich. Poor. Upper. Lower. Sounds familiar. No caste. One caste. Money. Cast. Mould. Fluid. Iron. Fluid iron. Settle. Cool down. Casted. Movie. This movie had the best cast ever. Best. Ever. Superior. Forever. Timeless. Formless. Dimensionless. Man. No. Impossible. Gentleman. Impossible gentleman.

Baggage. Gaze. See. Eyes. Pupil. Iris. Black. White. Black hole. White background. Black holes in white sky. Visual. Visual. Visual after visual. Memory. Memory. Memory after memory. Mind. Sense. Sense. Sense after sense. Feeling. Visual memory feels. Weight. Heavy. Rest. Keep the bag aside. Stress relieved. Continue.

Journey. Movement. Place. Journey is a movement from place to place. Things. App logo. Push notification. Thought. Movement of thoughts. Subtle. Very Subtle. Adjectives. What use. Hemingway. Farewell. Fare. Well. Do Good. Good doer. Doer of good things.

Dharma. Wheel. Ashoka. Buddha. Ashoka’s dharma. Buddhist wheel. My dharma. Your dharma. No dharma. Concentrate. Check. Going wrong. Check. Back on the right track. Distraction. Avoid. Almost got distracted. Say. Just say. It’s fine. Try. Just try. Spider. Eight legs. Web. Spiderweb. Fly. Food. Catch. Spiderweb catches fly.

Ant. Ant. Ant after ant after ant. So small. Goes in straight line. Sense. Smell. Sense the smell and follow the line. So says the Queen. Queen lives in the palace. The granary. Deposits of food. Save. Save for the bad times. Bad. Time. What? Does time has a quality of its own? Yes. It is made up of seconds. Seconds. Milliseconds. Microseconds. Nanoseconds. We go in powers of three. 3 time. No. Bad time.

Poverty. Bad. Bad poverty. Hunger. Bad. Bad hunger. We don’t do bad things. We don’t do poverty. We have 0 poverty in the State. The state. Home. House. House after house. Street. Shop. Shop after shop. Market street. Intertwined streets. Municipality. City. Many cities. State. Many States. Country. Nation. State. Again. No. This is different. This and is are different. Differences of states feature of the world. Material World. Hunger. Interwoven thread. Have you felt hunger lately? Try fasting. Yes. Speed. Food is there. Why not eat? Why restraint? Restraint. Discipline. Discipline of some reality of many. Know. Not hunger. Food.

Speedlimit. He is going way above the limit. Chase. Chase. Chase, chase, chase, yo! Alarm. Siren. Police. Will they arrest us? If I stop. Run. Run. Too close. Can’t escape. Stop. Pull over. What will happen now? License and registration, please! Cheese.

Cheeze. Things. Hindi for things. One toffee. Two Toffee. 5 toffee. So many toffees. So much cheeze. Yay! Let’s go cook them. Kitchen set. Amma! Amma’s kitchen set for children. No children. Only girls. No boys. Boys don’t cook. Boys can’t cook so they don’t cook. No pride lost. Girls don’t work. Girls can’t work so they don’t work. All pride gone. Cooking, no work. No work. Indeed. Just laying and resting. Lay. Rest. Lay and rest.

Work. Word. World. Word. Code. Word. Yes. Process. Alphanumeric. Alphabets. Numerals. Characters. Alphanumeric characters. Language. English. Spanish. Chinese. Gurmukhi. C. C++. Special characters. Special. +. .. ,. “”. Complete language. Ruby. Python. Gem. Snake. No language. Coding language. Digital. Language of the digital world. Sentence.

Education. Training. Military. No. Civilian. Training for a civil life. Military training. Training for a militarised life. They are taught to kill. So they kill. Oh! Stop now. Don’t be rude. Go back to training. Civilian. Civilian training. They are taught to keep quiet. Keep quiet. The teacher is in the house. Or Monitor. Or Senior. Or Boss. Or Manager. Or CEO. Or Investor. Or The great rockefeller himself. Library. Library, Library, Library Yo! Silence, please!

Speak. Extracting feelings from words. I failed.
Ego? What is that but a word.
What is important for you then?
Now.

Order food. Come back. Control yourself.
This is not feeling. This is talking. I am talking to waords. New toy. Not a child. English ego.
I need to feel. Everything will be alright.
Certain keystrokes certain sound. Everyone a different one. Code. Code. Code.


What code. Language code. Real code. The real code in C. High statement. Such high statement. C. c ofr code. Haha! Interesting. Can’t use Hindi. English keyboard. Sad world. Happy world. Difference of a full stop. Period. Complete stop. Please don’t.

Name. Meaning. Kabir. Good name. Good day. See even day has a name. Monday. Sunday. And they mean days. Helps with motion. Movement. Music flowing. Meaning. Name.

Answer the previous question first. Sing. Verb. New question. Verb without a noun. Examples. Are. many. Is.

I tried being a good person. It made me neither good nor person.

Shoe. Shoe. Buckle the lace. My shoes. Your shoe. Your shoe is my shoe. My shoe. Your show. Show. Strings of words. Lace. See. No sense. Seeing is non-sensical. Eyes. New. Birth. New born’s new eyes. Sees. No sense at all. Really. Smile. Food. Piece of meat. Leather. Shoe.

Samaj ko bacha lene wali burai. Burai. Samaj. Bachana. Lohe ke chane. Tedi kheer. Sweet. Focus on the sweet. Kill the hate. Feed the children. They beg of love. Beggar. Can’t write. They don’t put a board. Up. Check your biology book. It says children’s face are naturally. Cute. Weak. Yeah. But the seer sees the cuteness. Seer means one who sees. You, you fool. You only. Just you. See the cuteness. It is cute.

Book. They had to write that down in a book. Imagine. Fuck. Can’t think of animal to give you an example of. Real care. Real sensitivity. Imagine yourself. Yeah. Animal. No I mean you. They had to teach you to love your children. Animal Kingdom on discovery channel. AK from the box. AK-47.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Choose your questions wisely.

I say and forget. Why? Sleep.

Feelings to body. Reason to brain. Belief to mind.

Behaviour is controllable. Control your mind. Ego is an illusion.
Behavior is not controlled. Thinking is controllable. Everybody develops an ego. Ego comes from the beliefs. Belief in self is ego. Man attaches self-respect with it. My ego. A self-respecting man cannot do bad to others. Your ego.

What is good?
Same question. How to move people from money to care?
Move yourself from care to money.
You are thinking about people too much.
Think about yourself a bit.
Not much time. Do things as fast as you can.
Care - Research into neuroscience, psychology and coming down to economics and finance.
Money - Learn music. I probably do not even know if I could play or learn.

Decide.
Mujhe ghoomna hai.
Expressions.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What happened was natural only. If everything is physics. Then the body and mind are physics too.
Development of mind can be self-controlled.

Belief in this and starting to practice this from an early age prevents one from doing things and making excuses later on.
Checking your and other’s behavior and a desire to not do things until you understand them. Basically translates to think before speaking and doing.
In certain generic situations we become quite capable in handling them without thinking much but in certain situations which are attached to identity, the responsible one thinks hard.
Holding people accountable and responsible from an early age such that they themselves start taking responsibilities of their actions. This sense of responsibility is one’s own irrespective of favorable or unfavorable social circumstances.

One’s responsibilities are one’s needs or vice-versa. That is the nature of the game now. Everyone on their own. When such is the case, wise take care of their environment. When environment is unfavorable, no one can do anything. Vinash kale viprit buddhi becomes more relevant than anytime in today’s world.

What is kaal saying?
Young. Can do anything. Fear. Investment in something and no result. Bakwas. Do what you love. Confusion. Faltoo. Assume kaal is waiting.


What is buddhi saying?
Start preparing to become a professor and chill and take care of your parents and yourself.
Random things you talk about - let it out through the means chosen - professorship.

Any other way is too dangerous(risky), too uncertain(risky) - I am very risk-averse. With important things I don’t take risks. Like what I do. Like what I do in a social situation. Yeah that was a social situation too which I didn’t learn to handle.

Though I was trying real hard but the actual thing was quite different. Well actually I made it different too.

Development of mind.
Stop it now. It is developed enough.
The reality remains you will have to work to get food. Choose your life. There are still days to come. Not shelley again.

Magnet.
Iron remaining in contact with magnet for too long becomes a magnet itself.

Heart. Love. Too much love. Too much heart.
Heart. Pain. Too much pain. Too much heart.

Man se kehna: when your whole self want to convey something.
Rejection. A dent to the self.

What did he mean?
AK sinha - Ego. jab yeh toot ti hai to bahut bura hota hai.
The problem was - bura kya hota hai? Kuch nahi. Apne adhikar se zyada

Oh! The right joke.
What is the fruit of your labors? What life? How much do you value what has been done?

Enjoyment.

Music is there. Learning music is there. Probably painting and writing are there too.

How are you earning in the next sometime at least?
For very short term - I don’t have to do anything.
For a longer term - I could be teaching or publishing stuff, if I get something good.

Life takes one way. Responsibilities take another way.

Responsible life is a discipline.

Time causes brahma (doubt). Doubt results in everything. From quantum mechanics to relativity.
Music is code in time.
Time is conscious.
That only leaves the scope of matter being conscious.

Sa mein aa. Samay.
Samay. Smaya.
Main. maya.
Maya ka maan. Samay ka samaan.

Sambhavna. Sanyog. Samvaad.
Possibility. Coincidence. Conversation.
Chance. Time. Share, exchange.
Possibility of conversation in a coincidence.
Chance of sharing in time.
Time of sharing in chance.

Code that runs backwards and is same.

Palindromes.

Samay. Saras. Sargam.
Rainbow in light. Spilling of wavelengths (frequency) of light.
Sargam in music. Spilling of wavelengths (frequency) of sound.
A small part of the infinitude of light and sound spectrum.

Concept of infinity and its interpretation with respect to consciousness.
Time is limited. Consciousness is infinite.
Every particle has time.
Kana-kana mein kaal. Kana-kana mein kal.
Kana-kana mein sangeet. Kana-kana sangeet ke sang.
Every particle has mass. Maan ki aans. Samay ka intezaar. Waiting time. Samay ka sanyam. Patience of time.

Time is definitely patient. In time’s frame, time is zero. In light’s frame - time is zero. Frame of light is frame of time?
Can there be time without light?
Can there be light without time?

Energy and time
Samay - sangeet - sang.
Light - Sound - Show.

Spacetime - Elements (air) - Universe
Smell (air)- memories - emotions
Sound in water and from metals

Black holes - eye glance
Event horizon
Light
Centre
Dark energy

Break up of all things material