Wednesday, 16 May 2018

A well studied man



(Wrote this in 2016 when I was under the spell of Hermionie 4. A constitutional warning - 'Viewer discretion is advised'. It is to be seen slowly, word by word, layer by layer.)

Transitioning from a suitable boy to a studied man.

Belief in the hierarchical structure of the world.

They will believe in anything.

I struggle because I am poor. Big eats the small. (pedagogy of oppressed and psychology of oppressed and recessive tendencies of belief in supernatural, superstition, religion)

Religion is not about following the tenets of one god.

It is the complete worldview of an individual through which he directs his behavior.
(sada jeevan, uccha vichaar, sadachar bina sab bekar)

A man may deny the presence in a belief system. That is actually literally impossible unless one has invented all the tenets of the religion themselves.

Ideas diffuse and are interpreted in different ways.

What is said and what is interpreted.

What one may mean by a feeling cannot be exactly understood by someone else.

Humans are conscious of their feelings, moods, behaviors, speech, action.

Now different people are always at different stages of their consciousness. They themselves cannot fully know how conscious they really are.

Same person - differently conscious of things at different times.
Obviously, different person are differently conscious.

Believing in an objective reality and imposing it on everybody with no regard of their subjectivities. Success would mean concentrating the subjective dimensions of the mind to a single objective dimension. This is theoretically impossible. But can be possible in an Orwellian nightmare.

Failure means celebration of plurality of life.

We Indians are very smart we assimilate every foreign god and make it our own.
This smartness is the only hope for a pluralist world.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Brevity. Witty.

What’s on your mind?
Trying to put words to my feelings.
What’s yours?

Read.
Speak.
Think.
Itch.
Think.
Sing.
Breathe.
Listen.
See.

Close.
Open.
Door.

Loud.
Soft.
Sound.

Warm.
Breeze.
Pleasant.

Trin-Trin.
Pi-Pi.
Traffic.

Bright.
Dim.
Light.

Near.
Far.
Hood.

Bit.
Bite.
Charlie.

Breezy.
Still.
Air.

Cold.
Hot.
Day.
Thirst-Water. Hunger-Food.

Naked.
Dressed.
Shame.

Brevity. Witty.

Writing good book tough task.
Scribbled something.
See if it’s any good.

Author.
Publish.
Review.

Anxiety.
Wet.
Kiss.

Fight.
Flight.
Love.

Civilian.
Military.
Defend.

Defend. Attack. Defense.
Attack. Defend. Offense.

Character
Full stop
Space
Character

*
.

*
*. *

Did.
You.
Something.

Cool.
Dude,
Boy.

Instruction.
Act.
Wait.

Match.
Light.
Smoke.

Smart.
Dumb.
Shipwrecked.

Adjective.
Opposite.
Characteristic.

Dumb.
Smart.
Pride.

Start.
Stop.
Prejudice.

Floor.
Bed.
Walls.

Air.
Window.
Room.

Consistent.
Stable.
Power.

Drink.
Quench.
Anger.

Table.
Legs.
Laptop.

Simple.
Complicated.
Too.

Cry.
Laugh.
Joke.

Less.
More.
Figure.

In.
Out.
Ball.

Peaceful.
Silence.
Stillness.

Chaos.
Me.
Chill.

Morning.
Go.
Work.

Hide.
Show.
Mark.

Good.
Bad.
Right.
Wrong.
True.
False.
Statement.

Word.
Word.
Rhyme.

Top.
Bottom.
Rhythm.

String.
Hold.
Stretch.

Long.
Bushy.
Path.

Obscene.
Vulgar.
Beauty.

Words.
Words.
Poems.

English.
English.
Shakespeare.

Civil.
War.
Lincoln.

World.
War.
Hitler.

Holocaust.
Jews.
Hitler.

Noun.
Sentence.
Improper.

I
I.
1.

Me.
Heard.
Thought.
Amazed.
Think.
Why.
Question Mark.
?
Full Stop.
?.

Words.
Together.
Meaning.

Words mean together.
Two.
Gather.

Herd.
Community.
Civilisation.

Slow.
Steady.
Learning.
Memory.
School.
Teacher.
Girl.
Code.
Enter.
Click.

Desperate.
Hope.
Cloud Nine.

Cloud.
Space.
Nine.

Patterned.
Black.
Number.

0101
Dark
Draw

Glory.
Effort.
Incomplete.

Symmetrical
Thoughtful
Perfect

Capital
Labor
Profit

City.
Familiar.
Sight.

Mind.
Wakeful.
Slaver.

Complex.
Difficult.
Prose.

Internet.
Facebook.
Generation.

Data.
Relation.
Adults.

World.
Africa.
War.

Swords.
Clash.
Blood.

Sticky.
Salty.
Taste.

Red.
Dark.
Memory.

Sound.
Sound.
Sleep.

Sound.
Sound.
Up.

Your.
Self.
Behave.

Spark.
I.
Idea.

Who?
Me.
No.
Ego.
No.
Yes.
Yes.

Deep.
Freeze.
Ice.

Speak.
Speak.
Talk.

Verse.
Verse.
Converse.

Stop.
Stop.
Go.

Fun.
Me.
Enjoy.

Feel.
Pain.
Forget.

Trumpet.
Kill.
Strength.

Hear.
Die.
Gameover.

Listen.
Music.
Art.

Define.
Think.
Redefine.

Words.
Mean.
Meanings.

Words mean meanings.
Meanings are not real.
Words are abstract.

Words coming together, sentence.
World coming together, globalisation.
Peace for war, bullshit.

Desperate are young.
Old are weak.
Wisdom.

Sue.
Plead.
Court of law.

Words.
Logic.
Artificial.

People.
Care.
Real.

Society.
Caring.
Family.

Oh
Exclamation
God

O
No space
h

Capital
Small
Font.

Nothing.
Sure.
Absolutely.

Leader.
Yes.
True.

Charisma.
Light.
Play.

Attract.
Fuck.
Cum.

Steps.
Rails.
Stairs.

Voodoo.
Magic.
Indian.

Snake.
Charmer.
Moron.

Fluid.
Mucus.
Nose.

Never
Ending.
Game.

Small.
Big.
Fractal.

Pass.
Stop.
Whistle.

Joyce.
Criteria.
Beauty.

Things.
Three.
Beautiful.

What?
A.
Idea.

Smoke.
Capture.
Patterns.

Photo.
Camera.
Picture.

Visual.
See.
Visualise.

Visualise the visual. Stop. Think. Sentence? Labor more. Last sentence. Only noun. No sentence.

Challenge.
Fear.
Continue.

Go.
Must.
Show.

Troubled.
Mind.
Tolerate.


Toilet.

Tolerate.
Manners.

Habit.
Bad.
Secret.

Character.
Good.
Moral.
A.
Is
A good character is a moral character. Slow, very slow. Haunting. Ghosts. Stop. Go back. Sleep. Dream. Nightmare. Allow. Blurry. Vision. Clarity. Parts. Visual clarity. TV. Television. To see far. Horizon. Earth. Sky. Meet. Earth and sky meet at the horizon. Speed. Fast. Oasis. Desert. Illusion. Lesson. Learn. Must. 1. 1 must learn lesson. 1 can’t learn. 1 can learn. 1 is a number. No. Yes. 1 is character. No character. I.


Word

Space
Word
Words
Big space
Paragraph

Par
A
Graph

Trunk
Roots
Tree

Stem
Leaves
Flower

Pollen
Stigma
Stemen

Eggs
Sex
Penis

Intelligent
I
Waste

Research. Kanpur. City. Delhi. Branch. Engineering. Cream. Me. Milk. Everyone. Churned milk produces cream. Produce. Factory. Product. Sell. Earn. Live. Happy. Die. Morning. Bath. Water. Bag. School. Night. Office. Work. Evening. Go. Home. Work. Question. What. ?. Everything. Desperate. Remember. Hope. Create. Type. Effort. Livelihood. Drink. Chill. Live. Tell me not in mournful numbers, life is but a dream. P. B. Shelley. Percy. Bysy.


What? Why? Why not?

Stop. Please. Stop.
You are killing me.

Electricity.
Chair.
Jerks.


Photo.
Frame.
TV.

On.
Camera.
Act.

In.
Language.
Rape.

Hello! My name is rapist today. I will rape in language today. Obscene. Vulgar. What is up? Thinking lately. Answer. Question. Answer to a question. A 2 ?. Two. Pair. Together. Forever. ? Check. Use. No use. See. No use at all. Told you so. Do you see now? Question mark, I mean. ?

Can someone please say what is going on? What is going on?

A heart desires. 1000. One Two Three Four till thousand. 1 2 3 4 …. 1000. Counted. Nicely stacked up. Burn. Make a pile. Click a photograph. Spread propaganda. Terrorise mind. No. Sssh…. Don’t Speak. Sleep now. Everything is alright. All’s well indeed.

Need. Speak. Talk. People. No. Can’t. They don’t want to talk. Who told you so? Them. When. Then. Then is not a time. It used to be then. At 4 o’clock. Ok. Recording. Check. No Evidence. Guilty. Yes. Jail. Jailor. Hunter. Silence. Dark. Explosion. Light. Smoke. Mushroom. Eat. People. Fear. Accept. Tyranny. It is not tyranny if it is not acceptable. Tyranny must be accepted. Heil Hitler. Heil America. No. Hate. Destroys everything. Come together. Let’s fight again.


Click

Clash
Leak
Lead
Fire
Hole
Skirmish
Rafael
French
Bomber
Carpet Bombing.
Flat world.
Dimensions.
1
2
3

3 seems alright. Let’s start with it. Start. Must stop. Time. Fourth. Dimension. Space-time. Einstein. Relativity. Time can stop. World can continue. Lightspeed. God. Nietzsche. There are no morals for we have killed the God. Killed the God. Fool. Blasphemy. Attack. Listen. Reason.


Science

Darwin
Fit

Rest
Move
Gym

Calm
Thinking
Mind

Imagination. Fantasy. Labor. Reality. Labor pays. Fantasy sells. Brands. Consumers. Branded consumers.

Word. Word. Sense. Sometimes. Good. That is good. It has started to snow. Flaky, soft snow. White, cool snow. Color, feel colorful. Red. Woman. Blush. Blush. Red. Woman. Red woman blushes. Woman blushes red. Women while blushing become red. Women are red and they blush. Opposite. Sex. Chaos. Orgasm. One. Multiple. Man. Woman. Masculine. Feminine. Bull. Cow. Labor. Milk. Money is milk. Milking money. Business. Businesses milk money. Money. Labor. Worker. Labor creates money. Money interests capital. Woman interests me.

Stop.
Vulgar.
Obscene.

Don’t, please don’t. Language screams. I shirk. Shirk. Me. No. Google. Now. Find meaning. Life. Meaning of life. What a joke? 42. Joke. Comedy. Seinfeld. Good. Character. Really? So much love. Thank you.

Joke.
Tragedy.
Literature.
Small man.
Big man.
Fight Big man.
Shakespeare.
Drama.
Don’t.
Drama don’t. Don’t drama. No. Told you so. Stop. No. Drama.

Real poetry. Children’s poetry. The true face. Joke. Laughter. Joke. Laughter. Class. Teacher. Joke. Laughter. Children laugh at the teacher. Teacher is funny. Fun. HaHa. No. HuHa. Corleone. No. Michael. Godfather. No. The scent of a woman. General. Pacino. Al Pacino. You must have heard the name.

Knuckles. Crack. Sound. Game. Attack. Defend. Me. Please me first. I see a hand going up. Yes, yes you mister. Me. Yes, you. Me, you talking me. Me talking you. No, you don’t mean me. You mean him. Oh! Yes. I forgot. I remembered almost. One is true. One is false. The true one can’t be false. The false one can’t be true.

World. Fact. Sense. Thought. Proposition. Language. Logic. Logical language. Reasonable. Rational. Irrational. Numbers. No. People. Numbers. 7,00,00,00,000. Indian system. 7,000,000,000. International system. 700 crore. 7 billion. People. No. Number. Difference.

Economics. Numbers. Politics. People. Meanings are transcendental. Fucking in language. Fucking with language. Fucking with mind. My mind. Your mind. Everybody’s mind. Lonely. Single. Number.

Humor. Dark. Dark humor. Siren. Alarm. Crash. Bomb. House. Dead. Death. Peace. Says president.

Symbol.
Power.
Powerful symbol. President. A photo hanging. Napoleon. General. Commander-in-chief. Chiefs of commanders. Commander of chiefs. Many chiefs. Large world. More war. More peace. Happiness all around. What a dream.

Glass.
Stones.
House.
Don’t throw.
Other houses.
Own glasshouse.

They who have homes of glasses, don’t throw stones. Hindi. Proverb. English. Translation. Work. Classwork. Homework. Where is the fun in your life? Here. Where. Here. You still don’t see. What keeps you awake at night. Dreams. What are dreams made of? Language. You are killing it. Wait. What? I don’t kill. It’s a phrase. No, I actually don’t kill. I mean. Killing means you are doing good. Good. More. Do more good. Kill more. I am killing it.

Just fine.

Language.
Work.
Backwards.
It started.
A
B
C

A for Apple
B for Ball
C for Columbus

Italy. Navigation. Small trade route. Ultimate trading destination. The immigrant song. Led Zeppelin. 70s. Music. Rock. Rock music. Classical. Classical rock music. Wonderful.

Philosophy. Socrates. Plato. Aristotle. On Art. Art is mostly useless. Music is the most useless of all arts. Superlatives. Comparatives. Absolute best. Superlatives. Mine. Big. Mine. Bigger. Mine. Biggest. 67 inches. Approximately, 150 centimeters. Meter. Length. Why 67? 69. Smirk.

Freud. Sex. Vishnu. Leg. Vishnu is religious, Freud is God. Psychology as a science has evolved. Psychology. Science. Evolution. Or Evolution leads to science to psychology. Palindrome. It is same both ways. Cycle. One after another after another. Repeat. Do it again. Once more. Trample on.
Circus
Audience
Claps

Stage
All
World

Role. Play. Play roles. Role play. Did you mean Rose? Yes. The titanic. The nude lady with a green stone. Nude lady. Not vulgar. Language is vulgar. Calling nude. Calling lady. What is more vulgar? In my honest opinion, this is no lady. Sorry Spielberg. Oh! Not you rose darling. I meant the Arabs. Kill. Kill. Osama. Osama. Kill. Kill. Revenge. Ahh….Orgasm.

Feeling
That feeling.
Lost virginity.
Remember.
What a night? Or day?
Sensual
Rough
Tension

Pleasure.
Malice.
Sadism.


Length.
No idea.
Not long enough. Write more. How much more? Till the end of time. You sound ridiculous. You too. Making random statements do not make you funny. Actually they do. Will you give any reason? Haven’t give enough? No. Let me continue.

You have no idea what you are doing.
I have exactly the right idea. I feel strangled. Have you been experiencing accelerated breathing lately? No. What? No. I thought you said something about strangulation.

Strangulation is the process in which one kills another. You hold the neck. Tighten the grip. Grip is tightened. Tolerate punches. Punches are tolerated. Strength weakens. Grip tightens. Strength goes out. Grip loosens. Dead man. Killer man. Good stuff.

Picture. Thousand words. Words. Thousand pictures.
Tired. Bored. Continue. Sleep now. No waking up. Are you sure? Scripts are sure. Life. Not so.

Read. Why? Either you will or somebody else will. Supply and demand. Free markets. Invisible hand. Spanks ass. Classroom. Childhood. Teacher spanked today. Prices were stable today. Stock market fine. No worries. Sleep tight tonight. Market will open tomorrow again.

Just a minute. J. A. M. JAM. Jam. Bread and jam are wholesome food. Or was it butter? No questions during jamming. Let’s start over. Bread and butter are wholesome food. Did you like the song? Remember no question. You liked the song. I did. What is the difference? No question today. No difference. It’s the exact same thing we have here. Oh and it is happening in nation A, nation B and nation Z as of now. Soon, we will be everywhere. Hurrah! Hip! Hip!

Hip!
Hip!
Hurrah!

Soft. Soft. Loud. Louder. Loudest.

The portrait of an artist as a young man.
Portrait. Picture. Picture of something. Artist. Profession. Poor profession. To be avoided. Young. Age. Lots of sex. Man. Animal. One who fucks.

You will not talk of civilisation. You have to learn the meaning of civilisation.

Lots of pages. Lots of hate. I feel good. They may not like your straight forwardness. Confident and straightforward men are desirable. By women and followers alike. They are called alpha. Males. Alpha males. Alpha symbol and male. Freud said so. I am just repeating what was said.

Care.
Joy.
Laughter.

I.
My.
Mine.

I take care of my family. I have no family. I don’t care.
I take joy in my family. I have no family. I don’t enjoy.
I create laughter with my family. I think about my family. I laugh. I don’t show. It is evil. Millions are dead. Another million are sick. Another million are hungry. I must waste as much as possible. Party. Party. Yo. Party, party, party! Party, party, party!

Republican, republican, republican. Yo!
Democrat, democrat, democrat. Yay!
Four fingers. Hidden thumb. Wave.
Sideways cap. Dismantled hair. Groovy style.

Dead Poets Society. D. P. S. Delhi Public School. School for public of delhi. School by public of delhi. School of public of delhi. City names should be capital. They are always to be respected. Respect city names. No small letters. Remember. Remember. The Ides of March. When Caesar died, Antony raised the mob and Brutus escaped.

The mob. Who is the mob? We the citizens. Shakespeare for sure didn’t mean us. Did he? Tell me honey? Is it true? Did our ignorance killed Caesar? What is known can’t be seen, what is seen can’t be known. Medicine. Food for thought. Calculate. More and more. Harvard, Massachusetts, Cambridge. University. Higher Education. Schools of high learning.

Mountains.
Plateaus.
Plains.

Rapid.
Mild.
Slow.
Descent.
River.
Sea.
Vapor.
Current.
Dust. Vapor. Dust and vapor. Vapor and dust.
Cloud.
Snow. Rain. Drizzle. Hail. Sleet.
Precipitation.
Flow.
Time.

Feel.
Can’t
Know?
Sun went down. What? Where? Into the ocean. Is the water boiling? Boiling water. Blisters. Pain. Ugly. Sight. Syria. Lebanon. Middle East. Black. Money. Oil. Convert green money. Dollar. Undergarment. Placeholder. Gun. Fire. Attack. Blood. Color. Red. Bodies. Antibodies. Blood. Transfuse. A 2 A. B 2 B. AB to AB. O to all. 0 to 1. 1 to 0. Zero before everything else.

Meaning. Where? Here. There? There. Yes. It’s time you get angry. I am angry. I meant show. What? I don’t show. It is not like I am asking for your holy penis. No, No. Such blasphemy.

Concrete.
Dust.
Soil.
Roots.
Deep. Too. Roots go deep. Inverted forests. Brown. Entanglement. Hairs. Make space. Come together. There is enough for everyone. Suck. Suck water. Keep earth dry. Earth, world, dust, soil. Organic. Life.


Tick-tock

Tick-tock
Bang
First second.
Second second.
Number Time.
Number in time.
Time in number.
Atom smaller and smaller parts. Time smaller and smaller units. Planck time. Time by the watch of uncle Planck. Max Planck Institute. Germany needs peace. Wrongdoings. Bomb. Bomb. Hiroshima. Nagasaki. They got selected. They rhymed. The chosen ones. Uranium. Plutonium. Nuclear weapon. Well guarded missiles.

North
South
East West. North East. South West. Winds. Westerlies. The tropical climate. Wind. Breeze. Storm. A storm came. It took everything away.How much did you lose? Two pounds. You? I am halfway there. Speak. Think. Think. Speak. Conversation. Focus. Focus. Speak. Continue. Speech. Thought. Thoughtful speech. Unthoughtful speeches. Possible. The high stage. Table. High table. Round table. Talks. Closed Doors. Mahogany wood. Plaster of Paris.

Breads. Crumbs. Crumbs of breads. Hansel and Gretel. Witch. Sugarhouse. Sugardaddy. You should be ashamed of yourself. They can do. I can’t think. You can’t learn. What? Impossible. Nothing is impossible. Impossible is nothing. Impossibility = Nothingness. Symbol of equality.

=

Length.
Width.
Line.

Line.
Space.
Line.
Equality.
Perfect equality is not possible. Weak suffer what they must. Politics. Politics. Bad. Bad. People. They kill. They have the right to do so.

Gun.
Trigger.
Aim. Snipe. Lock. Wait for the cue. Cue.

Disciplined. Force. Military. Brainwashed people killing brainwashed people. Let’s make money. Brain. Washing. Screech. Screech. Rub. Rub. Stains are good. This. this. That. that.

Canada. Lakes. Islands. Lakes and islands. Islands and lakes. Lakes and lakes. Islands and Islands. Country and country. Far and far. Distance in space. Long in time. Long time takes long distance. No. Long distance takes long time. Long time allows long distance. Dimensions. Strings. Theory. When did they stop being rubber bands? Now. Can you please repeat your answer to the previous question for the whole class? Now. We must sit down and listen.

Cinderella. Princess. Shoes. Pumpkin. Juicy. Round. Layered. Tasty. Halloween. Not everyday. Trick or treat. Children and their plays. Boys and their toys. Men and their machines.

What is ours? Everything. Liar. No. Yes. No. Yes. Yes. Yes. You don’t give. I take. You can’t take without me giving. You can’t too as well then. So be it. You want to go by this route. I am way ahead of you. I will catch up. Make sure, don’t sleep. Hare, tortoise. The story. The familiar sight. City. Fast. Too fast. Country. Life. Too boring.

Fan the fire. Fanning produces turbulence in air. If the turbulence sustains itself till the fire. Extinguishes fire or fans it. Size of the fire. Size of the fire doesn’t matter, what matters is the temperature of the fire. Touch Feel. Cold. Hold. Burn. Complaint. You held for too long. Cut out that limb. Deafen this ear. Silence. Silence with a capital s. Capital s. S capital. What is this? S. It increases numbers of things and is of vital importance.

Important vitals seem fine. Unimportant ones are not. Don’t need the unimportant ones. Take them out. Red Blood cells. Convex shaped. No nucleus. Flow in blood. Die. Bone marrow. Creates more red blood cells. Children more born, less dead. Young are more and less equal. Old die. Natural death. Sleep. Dream. Go to bed.

Shipwrecked brother. Sands of time. Footsteps.
Foot. Foot. Step. Foot. Step. Foot. Step. Foot. Step. March. Spring. Time. Year. Month in a year. March. March. Stop. Wreckage. Havoc. Living hell. Shouting. Cold water. Antarctica. Shouting. Wood. Hold. Hold. Missed. Try. Try. Survive. Live. Fittest. Twig. Hold. Ocean drowns the twig. The twig was drowned here.

Vocabulary. Limited. Improve. Must. Debate. Necessary. Lose. Bad vocabulary. Bad morals. Bad manners. Good. Towards good. To go to good. Sell good. Sound economics. Save capital. Musical economics. Invest capital. Take risks. Mind blown. Literally. Place the gun in level with eyes just a notch above the right ear and boom. Story over.

Gloves.
Splash.
Blood.
Blood splash analyst. Dexter. Dee-Dee. Didi. Sister. Young. Marriage. Save. Hurry! Save today. Get up. Go to market. There is no water at home. Must get water for morning’s defecation. Inappropriate word. Words are not inappropriate. Meanings are. I give you words. You give me meanings. Let’s play this game. I like it. Like. Seriously? Like, like. Like, like like. Yes. Like kill. Kill. Kill.

America. Power. Mexico. Drugs. Canada. Islands. China. Small eyed people. Russia. Vodka. Depressed lot. Japan. We develop. We don’t fight. Africa. Disease. India. Voodoo. Brazil. Olympics. Latin America. When america was discovered in latin. When latin discovered in America. Language. Land. Language of the land. Land of the language. Land. Money. Dollar. Control language. Control mind. Show. Example. Advertise. Sample.

Take data as you like it. Manipulate data as you like it. Identify patterns as you like it. Treachery of parrot. Flaubert. Flaubert spoke. Parrots speak all the time. Imitate. Mirror neurons.

Synapse. Neurotransmitter. Cerebrospinal fluid. Neurotransmitters. Attach. Detach. Happy. Sad. Control. Lose. Flow. The fluid. The fluid. Which flows. Pumping and flowing. Beating. Beating and pumping and flowing. Beating. Beating. Pumping the flow. Beat chests. Mourn dead. Hussain. I should have been there.

Allah! Me. Please, me.

Kill for peace. Sack for peace. Plunder for peace. The minar at Mecca must stand. Lakhs gather. Haj. The great pilgrimage. The great deserts. Lost in memories. Sit. Fly. Circle. Pray. Flight. Relax. Nicely done. Mountain. Goddess. Fire. Natural gas burns. Pray or it will consume you. Danger. Fear. Afraid. Me. Of the Goddess.

She is benevolent. She can give. She can’t take.
Soft spoken. Speak. Softly. Love.
Param-pa-parampa.
Rock. King. Elvis. Pop. King. Jackson. Elvis jackson. Target locked. Ready to fire. Waiting on your command, mr. president. On my cue everybody say hallelujah. David played and it pleased the lord. The harp. Strings. Vibrate. Vibrating strings. String theory. Mathematics. Numbers. Abstract. Abstractions.

Sing me a good number. The piano man. Long thick white keys. Small thin black keys. Press keys. Enter. Space. Keyboard. K, click, sound, E, click, sound and so it continues and they live together happily ever after as one. One as in 1. No. One as in the keyboard. Learn. Focus. Why don’t you talk to me?

Speaking. Who is this? Who is asking? Me. Oh! Yes. You. Wow. Microwave radiation from the big bang itself. Play extraordinariae. French. Oui. Je vous. Avez vous? Kiss. French kiss. Lips. Suck them dry. Wet kiss. Tongue rolling. Slip of a tongue.

Roll. Roll. Roll. Till we hit the floor. Oh, yeah! Jim and his band. They played a song not long before in a space far far away from here. Speed of light is frame agnostic. I know. I know you don’t know. I don’t know. Jon knows nothing. Wild woman teaches civil Jon. Some crow shat.

My pyjamas got dirtied. Hit. Slap. Slap. Hit. Cosmic silence. Cosmology. Starts. Black. Round. Dark. Halo. Fabric. Singularity. Potential. Potential Energy. Statics. Kinetic Energy. Dynamics. Statics and dynamics. Dynamics and statics. Physics. Cause and Effect. Every force has an equal and opposite reaction. Entropy of a closed system always increases. Increase. Increase. Stock prices. Up. Up. Up.

Boom. Crap. Crap. Crap. Let’s hack the game. Tweak. Tweak. Play. Up? Up? Up? And it went down. Down. Stop. Stop. Stop. Good. Good. Hold now. Steady yourself. Behave now. Increase when I say increase. Decrease when I say decrease. Mr. goldman says increase and decrease. Increase the New York, decrease the Tokyo and balance others out in the process. No. It was the other way around. Increase Tokyo, decrease NY. No. Sun rises in the east first. Decrease Tokyo, increase NY.

Pacific. Ocean. One-fourths of the earth’s waters. One part out of four part. 1 slash 4. ¼.

Day. Next day. Start from the end. Water. Drown. Drowning water. 10 millilitres. Drown. Lungs. Filled. Air. Water. Air and water. Water and air. Complex. Complex. Structure. H2O. H said something. O listened. O said. H listened. Go back. Learn. Weak. Strong. Strong and weak. Weak and strong. Together. To gather. Complex. Complex. Structure. Evolve. Grow. Let it grow. Complex. Complex. Complex.

Complex. Security. Security complex. Intelligence. Find patterns. Too hazy. Too blurry. Can’t make out anything. See and you shall see. Smoke. Patterns. White. Powdery. White powder against dust background. Curve. No curve. Straight lines. Imagine. Large circle. Walk along the surface. Curved or straight? Curved. No. Let’s do this again. Earth goes in circle around Sun. No circle. Ellipse. It is same for our purposes. Curve family. You go straight or in a circle. Straight. You live on Earth. Earth goes in circle. I go straight. Understand. Understanding. Circles. Straight lines. Tangent.

Tangent. Normal. Normal tangent. Redundant. Tangent is always normal. Radius. Point of tangency. Abnormal. Psychopath. Sociopath. Dangerous. Run. Run. Away. The executive. They protect. They kill. They kill to protect. They protect to kill. Preparation. War. Prepare for the war. Why are we happy? Our time has still not come. Time comes. Cometh the time. Comets. Dead people.

Million. 1 2 3 up to million. Count. People dead. No. 1 slash. Remember the ancient method of counting. IIII slash. 1 2 3 4 slash makes 5. 1234/5 1234/5. 10. Number. Insufficient symbols. Find more. Pagan. Idols. Cross. Walls. West wall. Bloodied. 1 crossed. Check. 2 crossed. Check. 3 crossed. Check. Scientific methodology. Proof by induction. 1 crossed. True for one. Assume N crossed. N+1 crossed. True for N+1. Hence, proved. Everyone crossed. Religion. No. Science. Religion represses and depresses. Sciences proceeds and progresses. Kills. No. No. Blasphemy. No questioning science.

Science without questions is no science. Science without answer is? Statement. Question. Question. Statement. ?. .? What came first? Chicken or Egg. Egg or chicken. Darwin says evolution. Fruits. Reap. Reap fruits. Fruits of science. Labor of man. Science of man’s labor. Economics. Science of money. Economics. Ecology. Science of environment. Money. Money. Save. Save. Environment granted.

Man gives the environment. Environment gives nothing. Sun. Bright. Stars. Dim. Moon. Phases. Moods. Angry. Soil. Sow. Reap. Soil. Sow. Reap. Bull. Use. Use bull to sow. Seed. Seed. Plant. Plant. Crop. Food. We are not vegans. We eat eggs. Straight. With yolk. Without yolk. Anyway is fine. Meat. Meat. Kill. Eat. Kill. Eat. Patterns. One kills to eat. Man gives the environment.

Tired. Bored. Coherence. Complicated. Increasingly complicated. Make it more complex. No simple things. Life. No simple things in life. Argument. Argument. Democracy. Yay! Largest. Size? No. Numbers. Yes. Confusing. That’s the name of the game. Confusion. Chaos. Anarchy. Widespread. Widespread anarchy. Peace. Music.

Jazz and rock. Rocky jazz. Jazzy rock. Anyway is fine with me. Paint. Canvas. Paint on a canvas. Painting. Surreal. Real. Abstract. Still things. Vegetables. Basket. 1 lady finger. 2 potato. And a pumpkin too. Wood. Twigs. Interwoven wooden twigs. Basket. Vegetables and basket. Basket and vegetables. Mind and music. Music and mind. Parts. 2. Picture. Complete. Picture complete. Complete picture.

People. Care. People care. Care people! Charity. No. Irrational. Bad economics. Third world society. People. Money. People money. Money People. Yes. Rational. Good economics. First world society. Three to one. One two three. Loop. Loop. It’s a loop. Break. Break. Kit-Kat. Kitkat break. Presenting you with a kitkat break. Microphone. Speaker. Motion picture. Box. TV.

Marconi. No macroni. People. Food. Food. Food. Eat. Eat. Speak. Listen. Repeat. Converse. Verse after verse after verse. Verses. Songs. Song, no food. Trap. Jail. Grow. Up. Height. This year. One hundred one centimeters. Pede after pede after pede. Centipede. Next year. One hundred and two centimeters. And so goes the legend.

Archimedes. Bath. Bathing Archimedes. Bubble. Soap and water. Water and soap. Bubbles and bubbles. Eureka! Leave bath. Run to the king. The king. The king. The all-knowing with long hands. Law. Too just. Break the law. No not kit-kat again.

Fake hair. Black coat. Well rounded face. Bowtie. Justice. Statue. Blind. Balance. Libra. Liberty. Gift. France. Gift from france. Love. Gift from france with love. Small f. Wrong. Nation and People. Nation and its people are to be respected. Make that f capital. Fuck. Capital.

Rage. Rage. Gentle. Night. Do not go gentle into that good night. Good night. Greeting. Greet with goodnight. No. No. Leave with goodnight, greet with good evening. Yes. Yes. I learn. I am learning. Slowly and steadily. I will win the race. Gentle. Rage. Gentle rage.

Man. Man. Gentleman. English. High-class. Upper class. Classes. People. Classes of people. Rich. Poor. Upper. Lower. Sounds familiar. No caste. One caste. Money. Cast. Mould. Fluid. Iron. Fluid iron. Settle. Cool down. Casted. Movie. This movie had the best cast ever. Best. Ever. Superior. Forever. Timeless. Formless. Dimensionless. Man. No. Impossible. Gentleman. Impossible gentleman.

Baggage. Gaze. See. Eyes. Pupil. Iris. Black. White. Black hole. White background. Black holes in white sky. Visual. Visual. Visual after visual. Memory. Memory. Memory after memory. Mind. Sense. Sense. Sense after sense. Feeling. Visual memory feels. Weight. Heavy. Rest. Keep the bag aside. Stress relieved. Continue.

Journey. Movement. Place. Journey is a movement from place to place. Things. App logo. Push notification. Thought. Movement of thoughts. Subtle. Very Subtle. Adjectives. What use. Hemingway. Farewell. Fare. Well. Do Good. Good doer. Doer of good things.

Dharma. Wheel. Ashoka. Buddha. Ashoka’s dharma. Buddhist wheel. My dharma. Your dharma. No dharma. Concentrate. Check. Going wrong. Check. Back on the right track. Distraction. Avoid. Almost got distracted. Say. Just say. It’s fine. Try. Just try. Spider. Eight legs. Web. Spiderweb. Fly. Food. Catch. Spiderweb catches fly.

Ant. Ant. Ant after ant after ant. So small. Goes in straight line. Sense. Smell. Sense the smell and follow the line. So says the Queen. Queen lives in the palace. The granary. Deposits of food. Save. Save for the bad times. Bad. Time. What? Does time has a quality of its own? Yes. It is made up of seconds. Seconds. Milliseconds. Microseconds. Nanoseconds. We go in powers of three. 3 time. No. Bad time.

Poverty. Bad. Bad poverty. Hunger. Bad. Bad hunger. We don’t do bad things. We don’t do poverty. We have 0 poverty in the State. The state. Home. House. House after house. Street. Shop. Shop after shop. Market street. Intertwined streets. Municipality. City. Many cities. State. Many States. Country. Nation. State. Again. No. This is different. This and is are different. Differences of states feature of the world. Material World. Hunger. Interwoven thread. Have you felt hunger lately? Try fasting. Yes. Speed. Food is there. Why not eat? Why restraint? Restraint. Discipline. Discipline of some reality of many. Know. Not hunger. Food.

Speedlimit. He is going way above the limit. Chase. Chase. Chase, chase, chase, yo! Alarm. Siren. Police. Will they arrest us? If I stop. Run. Run. Too close. Can’t escape. Stop. Pull over. What will happen now? License and registration, please! Cheese.

Cheeze. Things. Hindi for things. One toffee. Two Toffee. 5 toffee. So many toffees. So much cheeze. Yay! Let’s go cook them. Kitchen set. Amma! Amma’s kitchen set for children. No children. Only girls. No boys. Boys don’t cook. Boys can’t cook so they don’t cook. No pride lost. Girls don’t work. Girls can’t work so they don’t work. All pride gone. Cooking, no work. No work. Indeed. Just laying and resting. Lay. Rest. Lay and rest.

Work. Word. World. Word. Code. Word. Yes. Process. Alphanumeric. Alphabets. Numerals. Characters. Alphanumeric characters. Language. English. Spanish. Chinese. Gurmukhi. C. C++. Special characters. Special. +. .. ,. “”. Complete language. Ruby. Python. Gem. Snake. No language. Coding language. Digital. Language of the digital world. Sentence.

Education. Training. Military. No. Civilian. Training for a civil life. Military training. Training for a militarised life. They are taught to kill. So they kill. Oh! Stop now. Don’t be rude. Go back to training. Civilian. Civilian training. They are taught to keep quiet. Keep quiet. The teacher is in the house. Or Monitor. Or Senior. Or Boss. Or Manager. Or CEO. Or Investor. Or The great rockefeller himself. Library. Library, Library, Library Yo! Silence, please!

Speak. Extracting feelings from words. I failed.
Ego? What is that but a word.
What is important for you then?
Now.
Order food. Come back. Control yourself.
This is not feeling. This is talking. I am talking to waords. New toy. Not a child. English ego.
I need to feel. Everything will be alright.
Certain keystrokes certain sound. Everyone a different one. Code. Code. Code.


What code. Language code. Real code. The real code in C. High statement. Such high statement. C. c ofr code. Haha! Interesting. Can’t use Hindi. English keyboard. Sad world. Happy world. Difference of a full stop. Period. Complete stop. Please don’t.

Name. Meaning. Kabir. Good name. Good day. See even day has a name. Monday. Sunday. And they mean days. Helps with motion. Movement. Music flowing. Meaning. Name.

Answer the previous question first. Sing. Verb. New question. Verb without a noun. Examples. Are. many. Is.

I tried being a good person. It made me neither good nor person.

Shoe. Shoe. Buckle the lace. My shoes. Your shoe. Your shoe is my shoe. My shoe. Your show. Show. Strings of words. Lace. See. No sense. Seeing is non-sensical. Eyes. New. Birth. New born’s new eyes. Sees. No sense at all. Really. Smile. Food. Piece of meat. Leather. Shoe.

Samaj ko bacha lene wali burai. Burai. Samaj. Bachana. Lohe ke chane. Tedi kheer. Sweet. Focus on the sweet. Kill the hate. Feed the children. They beg of love. Beggar. Can’t write. They don’t put a board. Up. Check your biology book. It says children’s face are naturally. Cute. Weak. Yeah. But the seer sees the cuteness. Seer means one who sees. You, you fool. You only. Just you. See the cuteness. It is cute.

Book. They had to write that down in a book. Imagine. Fuck. Can’t think of animal to give you an example of. Real care. Real sensitivity. Imagine yourself. Yeah. Animal. No I mean you. They had to teach you to love your children. Animal Kingdom on discovery channel. AK from the box. AK-47.

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Choose your questions wisely.
I say and forget. Why? Sleep.

Feelings to body. Reason to brain. Belief to mind.

Behaviour is controllable. Control your mind. Ego is an illusion.
Behavior is not controlled. Thinking is controllable. Everybody develops an ego. Ego comes from the beliefs. Belief in self is ego. Man attaches self-respect with it. My ego. A self-respecting man cannot do bad to others. Your ego.

What is good?
Same question. How to move people from money to care?
Move yourself from care to money.
You are thinking about people too much.
Think about yourself a bit.
Not much time. Do things as fast as you can.
Care - Research into neuroscience, psychology and coming down to economics and finance.
Money - Learn music. I probably do not even know if I could play or learn.

Decide.
Mujhe ghoomna hai.
Expressions.

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What happened was natural only. If everything is physics. Then the body and mind are physics too.
Development of mind can be self-controlled.
Belief in this and starting to practice this from an early age prevents one from doing things and making excuses later on.
Checking your and other’s behavior and a desire to not do things until you understand them. Basically translates to think before speaking and doing.
In certain generic situations we become quite capable in handling them without thinking much but in certain situations which are attached to identity, the responsible one thinks hard.
Holding people accountable and responsible from an early age such that they themselves start taking responsibilities of their actions. This sense of responsibility is one’s own irrespective of favorable or unfavorable social circumstances.

One’s responsibilities are one’s needs or vice-versa. That is the nature of the game now. Everyone on their own. When such is the case, wise take care of their environment. When environment is unfavorable, no one can do anything. Vinash kale viprit buddhi becomes more relevant than anytime in today’s world.

What is kaal saying?
Young. Can do anything. Fear. Investment in something and no result. Bakwas. Do what you love. Confusion. Faltoo. Assume kaal is waiting.


What is buddhi saying?
Start preparing to become a professor and chill and take care of your parents and yourself.
Random things you talk about - let it out through the means chosen - professorship.
Any other way is too dangerous(risky), too uncertain(risky) - I am very risk-averse. With important things I don’t take risks. Like what I do. Like what I do in a social situation. Yeah that was a social situation too which I didn’t learn to handle.

Though I was trying real hard but the actual thing was quite different. Well actually I made it different too.

Development of mind.
Stop it now. It is developed enough.
The reality remains you will have to work to get food. Choose your life. There are still days to come. Not shelley again.

Magnet.
Iron remaining in contact with magnet for too long becomes a magnet itself.
Heart. Love. Too much love. Too much heart.
Heart. Pain. Too much pain. Too much heart.

Man se kehna: when your whole self want to convey something.
Rejection. A dent to the self.

What did he mean?
AK sinha - Ego. jab yeh toot ti hai to bahut bura hota hai.
The problem was - bura kya hota hai? Kuch nahi. Apne adhikar se zyada

Oh! The right joke.
What is the fruit of your labors? What life? How much do you value what has been done?
Enjoyment.
Music is there. Learning music is there. Probably painting and writing are there too.

How are you earning in the next sometime at least?
For very short term - I don’t have to do anything.
For a longer term - I could be teaching or publishing stuff, if I get something good.

Life takes one way. Responsibilities take another way.
Responsible life is a discipline.

Time causes brahma (doubt). Doubt results in everything. From quantum mechanics to relativity.
Music is code in time.
Time is conscious.
That only leaves the scope of matter being conscious.

Sa mein aa. Samay.
Samay. Smaya.
Main. maya.
Maya ka maan. Samay ka samaan.

Sambhavna. Sanyog. Samvaad.
Possibility. Coincidence. Conversation.
Chance. Time. Share, exchange.
Possibility of conversation in a coincidence.
Chance of sharing in time.
Time of sharing in chance.
Code that runs backwards and is same.
Palindromes.

Samay. Saras. Sargam.
Rainbow in light. Spilling of wavelengths (frequency) of light.
Sargam in music. Spilling of wavelengths (frequency) of sound.
A small part of the infinitude of light and sound spectrum.

Concept of infinity and its interpretation with respect to consciousness.
Time is limited. Consciousness is infinite.
Every particle has time.
Kana-kana mein kaal. Kana-kana mein kal.
Kana-kana mein sangeet. Kana-kana sangeet ke sang.
Every particle has mass. Maan ki aans. Samay ka intezaar. Waiting time. Samay ka sanyam. Patience of time.

Time is definitely patient. In time’s frame, time is zero. In light’s frame - time is zero. Frame of light is frame of time?
Can there be time without light?
Can there be light without time?
Energy and time
Samay - sangeet - sang.
Light - Sound - Show.

Spacetime - Elements (air) - Universe
Smell (air)- memories - emotions
Sound in water and from metals

Black holes - eye glance
Event horizon
Light
Centre
Dark energy

Break up of all things material

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