Tuesday, 15 May 2018

the beginnings - a portrait of anybody

(This is a post I wrote sometime in 2014 when I would say I was still naive but since I was too shy to publish it then, I can add a caveat - things happened that I never imagined in my wildest dreams.
This is an outline which was supposed to be organised into a linear story but since I have lost belief in that sort of thing - I will leave it as I found it after 4 years - raw)

Well it all started with a bang. Its as much true to the space and time as to ourselves. Like everyone else, I started with my life in a dream-state and don't know the beginning. A body is born and then there is awakening of the soul. I think when my soul was still sleeping, I made decisions which were to impact the time I am spending. As a child, as a teenager and still as a young adult  try to spend as much of my time as possible in acquiring knowledge.

Outline: seriously devoted to studies and people with big eyeglasses inspired me and in my childish thirst for knowledge wanted to be one of my them

Kota: no other place in the world where 15 year olds spend as much time mugging as them. It was a kind of a utopia for the likes of me. Though I didn't have the understanding of the philosophical jargon at the time. Though I knew that spending so much time on studies without any kind of social interactions is a bad thing for humans of any age. Afterall man is a social animal. I still thought of the place as the best place in the world to be in. Indeed I considered myself lucky to be at the right place at the right moment.

IIT: Expected people like me but there were many others who didn't have much interest in the further pursuit of the knowledge. Me being alienated from any kind of social life for a long time there was thirst for social cohesion. I got off track and spend my time doing things that others told me to be right, keeping my judgement on the sidelines. Also there is a lot of pressure asking us not to judge. In retrospect I didn't make most of my time there and the only fruitful thing I did was reading literature of all sorts. Also got in touch with a lot of people but interactions were on the periphery only.

After IIT: philosophy, political science, neuroscience, behavioral genetics and economics taking a lot of time and deciding what to study next.

Beginnings: Krishna inspired me and I wanted to be like him. That having the best knowledge and using that knowledge for the best for myself, for my parents and brother, and if I could in some way for the world. So adamant in my belief that everybody is equal, I refused as a child to touch anybody's feet as is the Hindu custom for young to get blessings from the elders. Everybody is equal and bowing my head to anybody then is an act I can't do. Neglect of the psychological need of the elders to be respected (childish mistake?)

Democracy: Nobody gets dominated in the ideal case but some personal interests may be driving it which are not good for everybody specially for people living on the edge.

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